Paul + Edith

Last night Paul and I went out to dinner and then, since we were in the area, we stopped at Best Buy - Paul likes to look at all the electronic type stuff there on a regular basis.

We always start at the right side of the store where the hard drives and keyboards are, work our way to the TVs, then the cameras, the video games and finally the movies. Then we usually head home.

Every time we go to Best Buy I have to use the bathroom - it never fails. So, per our usual routine, I excused myself for a moment and headed to the ladies room.

While I was sitting there, on the pot, contemplating life, I got this sudden urge to be bad. I never understood before why someone would have the need to write or scratch something onto the bathroom stall door or wall. Why would someone want to state that "Rico is hot!" or "Wanda is a B**ch." But tonight, for some reason, I took out a pen from my purse, and I wrote...

"Paul + Edith"

on the bathroom stall door. I even took a picture of it with my camera phone so I can always remember what a badass I am. Of course, afterward, I took a wad of toilet paper and wiped it off. So I guess I'm not a true badass, but I am really close.

Anyway - after my bathroom fun, I headed out to find Paul. We met, and he informed me he needed to use the restroom too, and he would be right back. I informed him that I would be over in the CD section looking at dance music cause sometimes I just feel like boogying.

In telling him this, I thought it was clear that he was to come find me when he was done and then we would resume our regular Best Buy routine. Ten to 15 minutes passed... no Paul. So I headed back toward the bathrooms to see what was taking him so long.

Another 5 - 7 minutes passed, I swear.

Nothing. No Paul. So... I call his cell. No answer.

What???!! He ALWAYS answers his phone. Maybe he was in the middle of something and couldn't get to it right away.

So I wait another 30 seconds or so... then I call him again. NO ANSWER.
Hmm... that's wierd.

I call again. Nothing.

What in the world is going on????!! I call again... I leave a message, "Paul. What are you doing? Answer your phone! I am getting worried."

I decide to walk around the store to see if maybe he already came out. Maybe his phone is turned off. Or maybe he had it on silence and forgot to turn it back on. Or maybe his battery is dead.... NO, the battery is not dead cause it doesn't go straight to voice mail when I call... it rings 4 to 5 times.

I walk around the ENTIRE store. No Paul. I call again. No answer. I go back to the toilet area... I ask a strange man to please go into the men's room and ask if there is a "Paul" in there.

"Sorry ma'am.. no Paul."

Why did he just call me "Ma'am?" Do I look 40 or something?

I head to the front of the store and stand in line at customer service.

"Hi, can you please page Paul [Last name] to the front of the store for me?"

"Paul [Last name], Paul [Last name] ... please come to customer service. Your wife is looking for you."

I stand there for what seems like a year, no Paul.

My pulse is racing, my heart is pounding. I don't see Paul anywhere. He is not answering his phone. Maybe he got sick and went out to the car.

I check the car... No Paul.

I come back into the store. I search every nick and cranny of that place. People are everywhere, the music is blasting... WAYYYY to loud by the way - STUPID best buy. WAYYY TOO LOUD!!!!

I get a call on my phone. It's Paul. "Hey... where are you at," he says.

"Where am I at?!! Where the hell are you at?!" tears rolling down my cheeks.

I see him in the distance. I walk over to him, punch him in the shoulder.

Paul looks at me like I am a psycho. And I am... I really am a psycho to freak out like that. But I was so scared that someone had mugged him in the bathroom and he was lying in a pool of blood. Or maybe he had a heart attack from taking too big of a poop!! How am I supposed to know??

Note to self: stop watching Law & Order and that show about people who get kidnapped.

Paul swears that the entire thing occurred over 10 minutes - MAYBE 30 minutes, but that includes dinner. I personally believe Paul was in Electro-heaven-nah-nah land and lost track of time cause it was totally 45 minutes or so.

His phone was on... he just couldn't hear it cause Best Buy was too loud. STUPID Best Buy. I'm GLAD I wrote on your bathroom stall. I shouldn't have erased it!