"Smile Madeline"
1.31.2011
1.23.2011
It Rained
Last week it rained. Did you just read that? It rained in the desert of Saudi Arabia - and not just a sprinkle. It rained for a couple of days straight. The kind of rain that cleanses everything and causes a sweet smell of dirt and leaves and water to remain. It wasn't the same smell I fell in love with living in Utah, but it was nice and fresh and cool.
I love how everything looks after it rains. The roofs on the houses are all orange again. There is this tree I look at alot that is behind our house. It has the most beautiful, large green leaves on it, but they are always covered in dust. There have been several times when I have thought about going back there and spraying it off with the hose. The rain did that for me and it is such a beautiful green tree.
Madeline and I had a really nice moment sitting together watching the rain and talking.
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| The view from our front window |
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| Some of our plants getting real water, not salt water. |
1.22.2011
1.21.2011
Update: We Are Still Alive
It has been an exhausting 3 weeks, but it has been great. We are in love with our little family.
Abigail Lily - The Abster is adjusting well to life outside the womb. She is a healthy newborn in every aspect of the word. She nurses a lot - some days it feels like that's all I do - and we've already been spit up on and pooped and peed on several times. I find myself comparing my experiences with Abigail to my times with Madeline but regularly being surprised that things are different. I also find myself calling Abigail by her sister's name a lot. Madeline looked a lot like Abigail does when she was a newborn (comparison blog coming soon). Still, there are definite differences.
Abigail is a very sweet, mellow baby and really enjoys just looking around at her world when she is not sleeping. She loves to be held by her mommy (yay). She smiles a lot and makes funny noises when she stretches that sound like she is laughing really hard. We all get a kick out of it. She is quickly learning a slight case of impatience because, unfortunately, she has had to wait for feedings at times because Madeline is also in the picture.
Abigail sleeps most of the day and loves to be awake at night. I call it "womb-lag." She did the same thing when she was in my belly - her most active times were at night. Because of this, I sleep at wierd times and in spurts, often eating breakfast at lunchtime and so on and so forth. This is normal for a new baby - I know - but I am sure looking forward to a regular schedule again.
At 3 weeks old, we are having issues with snot and sneezing. I think Abigail caught a little cold from her sister. But the nasal suction bulb is working wonders (I had no idea boogers that big could come out of such a little person!!) and I am hoping she will be over it soon. I am starting to realize that a huge part of having little kids is dealing with illness and that those big yellow boogers and I are going to be good friends for many years to come.
Madeline Olivia - Mads is doing well with adjusting to having a new sister, but she is definitely not too happy with sharing her Mommy. She loves to hold Abby, and often asks to give her hugs and kisses. She talks to her a lot (calling her "sweetheart and honey") and wants to sit by her and help me with changing diapers, etc. Paul and I have made it a point to emphasize to Madeline how much we love her and to make her feel a part of everything and loved. Despite this, she still has her moments, which we expected.
Unfortunately Madeline has had a cold on and off for the past several weeks and it recently got worse so we have been trying to keep her away from the baby and trying to emphasize the importance of clean hands and covering our mouths when we sneeze or cough. Trying to teach these things to a 2 year old is not the easiest thing in the world and Madeline often appears to have hurt feelings. She also spends a lot of time on the floor just laying there in rebellion.
Paul has been sleeping with Madeline in her room for the past several nights, but I still end up in there if she has a cough attack or wakes up crying because she wants her mom.
This is something that has been the hardest adjustment for me... not being able to BE THERE for both of my girls at the same time. I often find myself day dreaming that I could split myself into two. I cannot nurse Abigail and cuddle and love my sick Madeline. Both have had to wait it out at different times and it seriously tears me apart (HA! I wish cause then there WOULD be two of me). Especially with Madeline because I see her face and can tell she is hurt by it all.
Despite her recent bouts with ear infections and cough attacks, Madeline has had a lot of inbetween healthy moments and we are trying to keep her busy. She loves going on walks and often ends up down the street with her friend Kiersten playing at the playground. She has been attending playschool now for a little over a week (she missed the last one due to her cold) and she LOVES it. I think it makes her feel really special and she likes being with all the other kids.
I also signed Madeline and myself up for a kindermusik class being given here on camp but we missed the first class because of Madeline being sick. I hope we can make it to the next class.
Paul a.k.a. SUPERMAN - I am continuously reminded of how lucky I am to have this man as MY husband. From the moment he started his "vacation" on December 27th, he has worked hard to make sure we are all happy. He has made dinner a million times; he takes care of Madeline a lot - feeding her breakfast, getting her dressed, taking her on walks or outside to play, taking her to the doctor, playing with her, and dancing with her; he is so amazing and I am so overwhelmed with love and appreciation for him. I feel bad that Paul's vacation from work has been more work than relaxation.
I have noticed an even tighter bond forming between Paul and Mads (of course this makes sense) and I am glad he is there for her. He is very protective of Madeline and her feelings. She even calls for him sometimes when she wakes up now. Our bond (mine and Paul's) has been tested a lot with all the stress and lack of sleep we are having, but no matter how crazy psycho freakish I get, he still loves me, kisses me, hugs me, and wants to take care of me. Sometimes I just don't understand it, then I remember this guys actually loves me. This is LOVE. And I am one lucky chick!
Edith (yours truly) - This delivery has been so universally different from my first delivery that at times, even shortly after having Abigail, I didn't even feel like I'd had a baby. Because the delivery was so fast there was less swelling and because I didn't have any serious injury (tears) healing has been quick. From day one I was rearing to go. I have been reminded by my body that I, in fact, DID have a baby though and need to take it easy.
The day I got home from the hospital I passed a clot that was the size of a baseball. It scared the hell out of me so Paul and I dropped Madeline off at a friends house and went to the ER. They were thorough (we were there several hours) and we were examined by three different doctors and blood tests and ultra sounds were done. All leading to the conclusion that I was okay - no abnormal labs or bits and pieces of things that shouldn't be there inside - and I just needed to go home and rest.
My lack of sleep, combined with emotional roller coasters and hormonal adjustments, has made me a bit of a wreck - the first week or so after the baby was born especially. There were often times I would just start crying for no reason or for a reason that made no sense. I think I scared Paul and Madeline and I am deeply irritated and saddened about that. I've been so tired at times I literally have FALLEN asleep, but I have gotten a lot better, and with proper sleep, can be quite a nice person.
For the first week after having the baby I was suffering from the chills at night. I would be just fine and then I would get this tingle in my left boob that would spread all over my body and I would shake uncontrollably... Paul got good at applying socks, loading piles of blankets on top of me, and then cuddling me until I was warm (AGAIN, what a freaking amazing man!). I thought I might have an infection from nursing/engorgement because I did have a low-grade fever and HOLY HELL did the engorgement when I first started nursing hurt like a mother! But, after a few days, it passed and I had no other signs of infection. Oh, and thankfully, the nursing experience has gotten much nicer and we have adjusted to each other nicely.
I have been seriously overwhelmed by the concern of our new friends here. The women in this community where we now live are so unbelievable. Several of the mommies I have gotten to know through playgroups got together and organized a schedule to deliver meals to our family until the beginning of FEBRUARY. Not just a week... we are talking meals every couple days or so for an entire month... and it has been so wonderful to not have to worry about making dinner while we adjust to life with two. Chicken teriyaki lettuce wraps, noodle salads, brownies, cookies, a roast with potatoes and carrots, lasagna, shepherd's pie, chicken and dumplings, delicious salads, homemade bread... the deliciousness goes on and on and our hearts and swelling with grateful compassion for these sweet spirits - some perfect strangers to us - who have taken the time out of their busy, family-filled days, to care about us.
It will take some time, but I have faith in myself that I can do this. I can love these two little girls and this man who I have been blessed with in my life the way they should be loved. I can serve them and teach them and be the Mommy/Wife I have always wanted to be. We are doing really well. We are blessed. We are happy and I KNOW we will be just fine.
To all those family and friends out there who we haven't called yet - I'm so sorry. We have been meaning to call or skype or even email you, but there is always something going on around here and when there isn't? We're usually asleep. So please, KNOW that we love you and please be patient with us. We can't wait to talk with you and see you and share our new little one with you... and thank you for loving us.
Pictures and fun stuff coming soon!
Abigail Lily - The Abster is adjusting well to life outside the womb. She is a healthy newborn in every aspect of the word. She nurses a lot - some days it feels like that's all I do - and we've already been spit up on and pooped and peed on several times. I find myself comparing my experiences with Abigail to my times with Madeline but regularly being surprised that things are different. I also find myself calling Abigail by her sister's name a lot. Madeline looked a lot like Abigail does when she was a newborn (comparison blog coming soon). Still, there are definite differences.
Abigail is a very sweet, mellow baby and really enjoys just looking around at her world when she is not sleeping. She loves to be held by her mommy (yay). She smiles a lot and makes funny noises when she stretches that sound like she is laughing really hard. We all get a kick out of it. She is quickly learning a slight case of impatience because, unfortunately, she has had to wait for feedings at times because Madeline is also in the picture.
Abigail sleeps most of the day and loves to be awake at night. I call it "womb-lag." She did the same thing when she was in my belly - her most active times were at night. Because of this, I sleep at wierd times and in spurts, often eating breakfast at lunchtime and so on and so forth. This is normal for a new baby - I know - but I am sure looking forward to a regular schedule again.
At 3 weeks old, we are having issues with snot and sneezing. I think Abigail caught a little cold from her sister. But the nasal suction bulb is working wonders (I had no idea boogers that big could come out of such a little person!!) and I am hoping she will be over it soon. I am starting to realize that a huge part of having little kids is dealing with illness and that those big yellow boogers and I are going to be good friends for many years to come.
Madeline Olivia - Mads is doing well with adjusting to having a new sister, but she is definitely not too happy with sharing her Mommy. She loves to hold Abby, and often asks to give her hugs and kisses. She talks to her a lot (calling her "sweetheart and honey") and wants to sit by her and help me with changing diapers, etc. Paul and I have made it a point to emphasize to Madeline how much we love her and to make her feel a part of everything and loved. Despite this, she still has her moments, which we expected.
Unfortunately Madeline has had a cold on and off for the past several weeks and it recently got worse so we have been trying to keep her away from the baby and trying to emphasize the importance of clean hands and covering our mouths when we sneeze or cough. Trying to teach these things to a 2 year old is not the easiest thing in the world and Madeline often appears to have hurt feelings. She also spends a lot of time on the floor just laying there in rebellion.
Paul has been sleeping with Madeline in her room for the past several nights, but I still end up in there if she has a cough attack or wakes up crying because she wants her mom.
This is something that has been the hardest adjustment for me... not being able to BE THERE for both of my girls at the same time. I often find myself day dreaming that I could split myself into two. I cannot nurse Abigail and cuddle and love my sick Madeline. Both have had to wait it out at different times and it seriously tears me apart (HA! I wish cause then there WOULD be two of me). Especially with Madeline because I see her face and can tell she is hurt by it all.
Despite her recent bouts with ear infections and cough attacks, Madeline has had a lot of inbetween healthy moments and we are trying to keep her busy. She loves going on walks and often ends up down the street with her friend Kiersten playing at the playground. She has been attending playschool now for a little over a week (she missed the last one due to her cold) and she LOVES it. I think it makes her feel really special and she likes being with all the other kids.
I also signed Madeline and myself up for a kindermusik class being given here on camp but we missed the first class because of Madeline being sick. I hope we can make it to the next class.
Paul a.k.a. SUPERMAN - I am continuously reminded of how lucky I am to have this man as MY husband. From the moment he started his "vacation" on December 27th, he has worked hard to make sure we are all happy. He has made dinner a million times; he takes care of Madeline a lot - feeding her breakfast, getting her dressed, taking her on walks or outside to play, taking her to the doctor, playing with her, and dancing with her; he is so amazing and I am so overwhelmed with love and appreciation for him. I feel bad that Paul's vacation from work has been more work than relaxation.
I have noticed an even tighter bond forming between Paul and Mads (of course this makes sense) and I am glad he is there for her. He is very protective of Madeline and her feelings. She even calls for him sometimes when she wakes up now. Our bond (mine and Paul's) has been tested a lot with all the stress and lack of sleep we are having, but no matter how crazy psycho freakish I get, he still loves me, kisses me, hugs me, and wants to take care of me. Sometimes I just don't understand it, then I remember this guys actually loves me. This is LOVE. And I am one lucky chick!
Edith (yours truly) - This delivery has been so universally different from my first delivery that at times, even shortly after having Abigail, I didn't even feel like I'd had a baby. Because the delivery was so fast there was less swelling and because I didn't have any serious injury (tears) healing has been quick. From day one I was rearing to go. I have been reminded by my body that I, in fact, DID have a baby though and need to take it easy.
The day I got home from the hospital I passed a clot that was the size of a baseball. It scared the hell out of me so Paul and I dropped Madeline off at a friends house and went to the ER. They were thorough (we were there several hours) and we were examined by three different doctors and blood tests and ultra sounds were done. All leading to the conclusion that I was okay - no abnormal labs or bits and pieces of things that shouldn't be there inside - and I just needed to go home and rest.
My lack of sleep, combined with emotional roller coasters and hormonal adjustments, has made me a bit of a wreck - the first week or so after the baby was born especially. There were often times I would just start crying for no reason or for a reason that made no sense. I think I scared Paul and Madeline and I am deeply irritated and saddened about that. I've been so tired at times I literally have FALLEN asleep, but I have gotten a lot better, and with proper sleep, can be quite a nice person.
For the first week after having the baby I was suffering from the chills at night. I would be just fine and then I would get this tingle in my left boob that would spread all over my body and I would shake uncontrollably... Paul got good at applying socks, loading piles of blankets on top of me, and then cuddling me until I was warm (AGAIN, what a freaking amazing man!). I thought I might have an infection from nursing/engorgement because I did have a low-grade fever and HOLY HELL did the engorgement when I first started nursing hurt like a mother! But, after a few days, it passed and I had no other signs of infection. Oh, and thankfully, the nursing experience has gotten much nicer and we have adjusted to each other nicely.
I have been seriously overwhelmed by the concern of our new friends here. The women in this community where we now live are so unbelievable. Several of the mommies I have gotten to know through playgroups got together and organized a schedule to deliver meals to our family until the beginning of FEBRUARY. Not just a week... we are talking meals every couple days or so for an entire month... and it has been so wonderful to not have to worry about making dinner while we adjust to life with two. Chicken teriyaki lettuce wraps, noodle salads, brownies, cookies, a roast with potatoes and carrots, lasagna, shepherd's pie, chicken and dumplings, delicious salads, homemade bread... the deliciousness goes on and on and our hearts and swelling with grateful compassion for these sweet spirits - some perfect strangers to us - who have taken the time out of their busy, family-filled days, to care about us.
It will take some time, but I have faith in myself that I can do this. I can love these two little girls and this man who I have been blessed with in my life the way they should be loved. I can serve them and teach them and be the Mommy/Wife I have always wanted to be. We are doing really well. We are blessed. We are happy and I KNOW we will be just fine.
To all those family and friends out there who we haven't called yet - I'm so sorry. We have been meaning to call or skype or even email you, but there is always something going on around here and when there isn't? We're usually asleep. So please, KNOW that we love you and please be patient with us. We can't wait to talk with you and see you and share our new little one with you... and thank you for loving us.
Pictures and fun stuff coming soon!
1.04.2011
Abby New Year!
Abigail Lily
Born: January 1st, 2011 (1/1/11)
9:40 pm
8 lbs. 6 oz.
21 inches long
21 inches long
December 30th, 2010: I had very vague, non-threatening, and constant thigh, lower back, and abdominal cramping all day long. They were nothing timeable and very tolerable so I just took it easy and lived with it as we continued our lives. We took Madeline to Kings Road to play at the park and run around in the field. We got the most awesome parking spot right in front of the entrance gate to the field. There were too many people there so I passed on doing squats across the field as I had originally planned to help possibly bring labor on. Just picture it - a chubby pregnant lady doing walking squats across a large grassy field with at least 50 Saudi men and women dressed in their modest best grazing on blankets and picnicing as their children play and frolick about.
December 31st, 2010: Contractions become noticeable and timeable, but they are all over the place. Eight minutes apart here, 11 minutes apart there, an hour goes by with nothing, then 6 minutes. Interesting, but to unpredictable and not enough to "rock the boat."
They say "don't eat if you feel like you are going into labor!!" But "THEY" haven't tasted the filet steak with pepper cream sauce that Paul is making for New Year's Eve dinner - I'm eatin'!!
Movie night with the family. Madeline falls asleep next to me on the couch and I look at her and stroke her hair as I begin to sob heavily, realizing our time alone, "just us," will soon be over. She has been an amazing first kid and I am so in love with her. How will this all affect her? How will things change? Will she be okay? So many worries.... but a feeling of peace and a realization that everything happens for a reason, God loves me and blesses me, and that there is nothing negative about this experiences washes over me. More tears because THAT realization is deep and so surreal.
Bedtime: Contractions noticeable and timeable - exactly 8 minutes apart!! Excitement!! But then I lay down and they completely disappear except for when I move or walk around. Baby Abigail is more active than she has ever been and kicks me in the throat.
January 1st, 2011 (1/1/11): No extra tax break this year. We are excited and hopeful Abigail will be born today because it's such a COOL birthday! What a way to start the year.
Contractions are timeable, but too far apart at 8 - 10 minutes for most of the day. That last one was 11 minutes apart.... crap! Still, I am hopeful something will happen today!
Lose the plug (Bet you wanted to know that) and see pink! We see pink when we go potty! Ewww. Have to call my Mom.
Pink stops. Hope is dwindling.
Hmm... that last contraction was actually quite painful. Sort of had to stop what I was doing and hold still while it finished. This goes on for several hours. Mean, grouchy Edith comes out and isn't very patient. I snap at Paul for moving his arm and accidentally bumping into my belly. Then I snap at him again for asking me what I want for dinner - how dare he be so nice!!!
I walk around panicking for a while and finally make a decision. I tell Paul to stop making dinner (rice cooking, raw chicken out and ready to be cooked) - let's go get checked out. We call our dear friends who have offered to watch Madeline and tell them "we're goin' in for a check!"
Emotions are still running high. We get our bags and jackets (SHOOOOOT I forgot my pillow and notepad) and then take Madeline to her pal Kiersten's house.
"Want to go to Kiersten's house Madeline?" I ask.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!" she yells.
As soon as she is out of her carseat she bolts for the door. No "good bye Mommy" or "I love you Mommy." I start to cry. Paul tells Madeline to come hug me. She runs over, and as I take a whiff of her berry flavored hair and soak in her sweet aura she whispers, "Yuv you Mommy, bye bye."
TEARS.
Amazing super cool and awesome friend, Kasondra, comes running out to hug me and say good luck.... more TEARS.
And we're off!
5:15 pm - Paul drops me off at the entrance to the ER and goes to park the car. I waddle in and wait patiently as the man at the front desk finishes his phone conversation. He kindly interrupts his friend, "Can I help you?" I smile, "I think I'm in labor." Two other people poke their heads out from behind a wall and smile at me for a good 30 seconds. I smile back. They continue to look at me. Awkward silence occurs. They finally come walking toward me and grab a wheelchair to take me upstairs to be examined (and probably sent home).
A very nice woman gives me a gown to change into and then, after I am changed, asks me to lay down so she can monitor my contractions. "How far apart are the contractions?" she asks.
"Oh they're about 5, 6 minutes apart." I lied. They were only 8 last I checked, but I did do a quick prayer and promise never to be bad ever again if they would get closer.
The monitoring begins... They're about 5 MINUTES APART NOW! Yes! But after an exam it is discovered I am only 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. The nice lady decides to admit me anyway stating it is only because they are consistently 5 minutes apart - I WILL NEVER BE BAD EVER AGAIN!
Admitted 6:00-ish pm. We talk with the nurse, make a call to our friends to let them know we were admitted and then I start walking the halls. The contractions get even stronger and I have to sit down. We decide it would probably be a good time for Paul to go get something to eat because we realize - at only 2 centimeters - it may be a really long night.
SHIFT change. The new nurse is not so friendly. I later realize that she IS friendly she was just annoyed that we were admitted because now it will probably be a long night and we will have to "do something" (start pitocin) in her eyes to make things progress faster. As I get to know her, I realize she is in a huge hurry for some reason. Why is she in such a hurry? Am I the only labor of the night and she was hoping not to have to do any cases tonight so she could read the rest of that romance novel she can't seem to put down? I can't help but be annoyed at this. I am excited to let things take their course naturally... and then, excited for that delicious, scrumdiddleeuptious epidural and the hours of pain free contractions and talking with Paul and planning our retirement, etc. etc.
While Paul is gone getting some food I listen to some music on my iPod, but it's hard to relax with the nurse midwife sitting there filling out paperwork and staring at me. Time goes by... contractions happen. According to me - being the one feeling the contractions, which I think is a good source of info. - they are pretty strong. Much more annoying and painful than regular period cramps (And I grew up having some pretty painful ones) but the nurse keeps telling me that they are still just "very mild contractions" and the monitor isn't even picking some of them up. Paul and I both think the same thing and verbally state, "is it possible your little fetal monitor belt is too loose? not working well? or that the fact that I have a little chub cushioning the blow may absorb some of the severity?"
8:00 pm: The OB doctor comes in for a look. I'm now dilated to a 3-4 and about 85% effaced. They decide to break my water BEFORE the anesthesiologist comes to give me that lovely epidural. The one you are supposed to be able to have when you make it to 3 cm.
Between 8-9:00 pm: Contractions are getting much stronger, much closer, and I am not having a good time. I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME. I am rolling around, hugging the bed rail, squeezing Paul.
9:00 pm: Anesthesiologist makes an appearance. Talks a lot about how long he has been an anesthesiologist, the risks, etc., I sign consent, blah blah blah. Ten or 11 really strong contractions later (I am light headed, writhing in pain, moaning), he has the catheter in, but he is not sure if it is really in... we may need to re-do it... wait... he's taping it to my back... OH, so it is in then? Umm, yeah, it's in (he says in an "I think" tone). Is it possible we can be more confident about this? I am not a huge fan of pain. Yes. it's definitely in (still in an "I think" tone). He adds the medicine to the epidural - no change on the left side. The right side gets warm and I can't feel the contractions for about 10 minutes, but the left side is still full of life and feeling. The contractions seem as if they are now on top of each other with no breaks inbetween. The anesthesiologist says, "give it some time to work. Lay on your left side to help the medicine over." Basically tells us not to call him for AT LEAST 30 minutes, and leaves. Feeling returns to the right side... GREAT!
9:25 pm: I feel like I should push. So the midwife does a quick check - " Yep! It's time to push! You're fully dilated. At this point you cannot get an epidural anyway... blah blah blah BLAH!!!" I'm thinking - "so you still think I should have been sent home huh?!!" They gave Paul a mask and a can of gas and told him to put it on my face when I could feel pain. I left the mask on pretty much the entire time except for when I was pushing. I was breathing in the gas so much that I became REALLY dizzy. I was breathing really hard and became very light headed.
Push 1 - nothing
Push 2 - half the head was out
Push 3 - entire head out
Push 4, 5, 6 and with a little help/pulling - shoulders and rest of Abby.
9:40 pm: Official birth time and pain vanishes! Halelujah!
Nurse comment: "Next time you have a baby come in as soon as you feel contractions." HA!
No tears or episiotomy, minimal swelling, an expected discomfort and weakness - but I am healing nicely and this experience physically, compared to the birth of Madeline, was a a very pleasant one. I felt like super woman!!
Abigail is a very beautiful, quiet baby. She only cries when she is hungry and, even then, that is after several minutes of wiggling around to give me a chance to notice she needs something. Even the pediatrician commented on how quiet her cry is during her exam - "That's all you've got eh?" he kept saying. She likes to look around and just stare at everything, and she already smiles when her momma talks to her.
Abigail and Madeline are getting along well. The expected confusion is there for Madeline, and she has shown some discomfort when I nurse the baby, but she is accepting it and often talks with Abigail and comforts her when she cries. There have been several group hug sessions -which I love! Madeline loves to hold her little sister.
Nurse comment: "Next time you have a baby come in as soon as you feel contractions." HA!
No tears or episiotomy, minimal swelling, an expected discomfort and weakness - but I am healing nicely and this experience physically, compared to the birth of Madeline, was a a very pleasant one. I felt like super woman!!
Abigail is a very beautiful, quiet baby. She only cries when she is hungry and, even then, that is after several minutes of wiggling around to give me a chance to notice she needs something. Even the pediatrician commented on how quiet her cry is during her exam - "That's all you've got eh?" he kept saying. She likes to look around and just stare at everything, and she already smiles when her momma talks to her.
I am in love with my girls, my husband, and my life! We are very, very blessed and so excited for this new year!
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