Sleep? Who Needs Sleep?

Yesterday, I got ready for the day, as usual. Madeline was down for a nap so I showered, dried my hair, put it up in a clip, started to put my make up on... then Mads woke up from her nap. We had some lunch and then I took her to a local park to take some pictures of her and stopped at the store for a few things. When I got home I realized I was still wearing my slippers and I still had concealer makeup smeared all over my face that I had not rubbed into my skin yet and no other make up. I had forgotten to finish before we left. So I went to the store and to the park, said hi to people and spoke to people looking like I was trying to be a Native American chief.

Memphis Botanical Gardens

This past weekend Paul and I took Madeline to the Memphis Botanical Gardens - for two reasons... 1. We wanted to get outside and be in the air and the sun, and 2. We wanted to see if we could find a pretty, flowery place to take pictures of Madeline. I have been wanting to get a really big picture done of her for a while now and you can get an 11 x 14 printed for like $8 or a 16 x 20 for $18 on shutterfly.

We accomplished one of our reasons... to be outside. We found a really pretty place with grass that had this wall of white flowers as a background that, any other day, would have been perfect, but it - all of the sudden - got really windy, it was too shady, Madeline was way to interested in the grass, and, well, it just didn't work so we gave up. Some other time.

It was still really nice to be outside - other than the gigantic bees that were everywhere. It makes sense though... the place is a garden. Madeline had a pretty good time though. She was happy and smiling the whole time. Paul carried her most of the way.

One of my favorite gardens was the iris garden. They had PEACH iris' that were so beautiful. And I really love the dark purple ones.

These fish were so big and fat. Apparently they have little food machines all over the garden where you can purchase fish food and feed the ducks, geese, swans, and fish. We didn't have any money on us or we would have.... next time definitely. There was a couple that fed them though and these fish went WILD. It was so cool.

Pretty...

The rose garden was really pretty too. I would have gotten more pictures but it was pretty hot outside and we were too busy dodging bees to stop and smell the roses or take any pictures.

A Dad

Trust

Love

Comfort

Happiness

Peace

Friendship

She feels it.

I wish all little girls could have a Daddy like Paul.

Unexpected Moment

Today at the store, while waiting in line to pay, I had a conversation about babies, teenagers, and politics with some Harley Davidson Biker Dudes. They were older, hairy, covered in chains, denim, and leather and smelled of leather and grease.

In any other situation I probably NEVER would have started up a conversation with them. Wherever I go with Mads people comment about her and it often leads to some form of verbal exchange.

Ya know what? They were two of the nicest men I have ever met and Madeline LOVED them. She's a great judge of character. Appearances are very often deceiving. Today was a good reminder of that for me.

On the other end of the spectrum... a very beautiful girl cut me off on the way home and then flipped me off. Hmph. Life is so funny.

Happy Birthday Momma

Easter Sunday I was taking a 3-hour nap with my little family (all of us - me, Paul, Madeline, and the kitty - slept for 3 hours straight, it was awesome!!), and I woke up to an awesome rainstorm. Words immediately filled my head - almost as if someone was putting them in my mind for me - so I quickly grabbed a notepad and began writing them down.

A poem for my momma - Susan - Happy Birthday Mom. I love you!

But When It Rains
By: E.A.M., Copyright 2009.

In the Springtime
when it's warm
and the flowers are in bloom,
I sit alone and stare,
out the window in my room.
I imagine flowering lilac trees with pretty purple pets.
Memories of you flood my mind that I will not forget.

But when it rains,
oh the joy,
when I hear the booms of thunder
in the sky,
I'm not scared,
but excited my dear mother, this is why...
It is YOU I am remembering
when I'm thinking of the rain.
Like a hug,
an embrace,
that erases all the pain.

In September when the shaking leaves turn red and orange, and gold,
I remember how you love them,
and no matter how old,
I'm reminded of the bond between a mother and her dot,
and the distance in between us
can quickly be forgot.

But when it rains,
and the sun is hidden by the darkening cloud,
I remember how you love me,
and you say I make you proud.
I'm reminded of our talks and the way you make things better,
and my brown eyes,
like the clouds,
usually get wetter.

In the summer when it's humid,
and the heat is burning hot,
I remember you'd be happy in my A/C -
that's the spot.
And I dream,
of a time
when you're sitting here with me.
When I'll see and hear your laughter
and I'll share my family.

But when it rains
and the raindrops start to fall from up above
I'm reminded of your kindness,
of your sacrifice,
and love.
I remember special moments -
when it was just you and me,
listening to the rain and thunder -
A mom like you I'll be.

In the winter,
when the air
is so cold you cannot breath it.
I remember building snowmen
just so you, my mom, could see it.
If you were happy for a minute
my life's purpose felt fulfilled.
How I would just hug you
If your presence could be willed.

But when it rains
there's a freshness that reminds me of my childhood.
Leaning out your bedroom window,

breathing scents that were oh soo good.
I'm reminded of our closeness,
and your smile - yes it's true.
I'm reminded of you every day.

But when it rains...
I always think of you.

Corny Cat

Kitty likes veggie corndogs with mustard. She is so weird.

Tuesday, 1:00 pm - Write a blog about schedules.

This past weekend Paul and I sat down and put together a schedule. This is something we've been talking about for years. I think part of me has always been against a schedule because I claim (on a regular basis) to believe life is better when I can just do what I want when I want and leave the possibilities open. This form of thinking hasn't worked too well for us, and I have recently realized that I DO NOT believe that. A lot of the time we end up sitting on the couch staring at each other saying, "So, what do you want to do?" over and over and, at times, forget to do important things we should have done.

So we finally did it. I think it seems even more appropriate now that Madeline is in our lives. Children should grow up with stability, rules, and guidance. If you let them do what they want, when they want, all of the sudden one day you'll have an eight-year-old who eats candy for breakfast, doesn't go to school, still poops his pants, and hasn't bathed for a week... oh and he tells you what to do and disobeys you on a regular basis.

We planned out major events for the year and marked down times Paul will be out of town or off from work, birthdays, holidays, etc. We have two months up on the board by the fridge for display as well as a detailed schedule for the current week - We'll sit down each week and do this together.

We've included things like exercising, family activities, naps, even play time for kitty... the posibilities are endless!

I also decided to incorporate a meal plan. This is going to help with spending big time and waste reduction big time. Every week I go grocery shopping we end up throwing out a bunch of food we didn't eat to make room for the new food that will be wasted. We can't do that anymore. Also, now that Madeline is having breakfast, snacks, lunch and dinner, a meal plan helps me make sure she is getting all the foods she needs. It also helps keep my mind from exploding. All schedules and meal plans are tentative, and I know that a baby won't stick to a plan perfectly, but at least we have something to follow and an idea of how things will go.

We've only been following a schedule for two days now and I feel like a 50 lb. weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel much calmer and together and it's sort of like a million little worries in my head have POOF! disappeared. I feel cleaner. I feel like I am more attractive as a person because I am following a schedule... seriously!

I highly recommend making a schedule for you and your family if you aren't already following one. Do it for peace, do it for happiness... do it, for your looks.

There's A Hero In All Of Us

Bat Madeline...
ridding the Earth of evil glow worms with her fierce bat wings one poor fool at a time.

ZOOOOOOOOoooooooo

Last Friday Madeline and I were invited to go to the zoo with a couple of my friends and their kids. We've been talking about going for a while now and finally decided to do it. Madeline has never been to the zoo and part of me wanted to wait until Paul could go with us - it being her first time - plus I always go grocery shopping on Friday, but the other part of me thought,

"How fun... to go to the zoo with a couple other moms and their babies. I can go grocery shopping later."

Also, Paul thought it was a good idea for me to go. He likes for me to be social whenever I have the opportunity. He said,

"You've been invited to an activity. You should go."

Hahaha - I thought that was funny, that he said that.

We planned to meet at the zoo entrance at 10 AM, of course with babies things like that never happen. We were there at ten, but Madeline was hungry so we stayed in the car for a half hour. Even after feeding Mads I was the first one there.

I didn't get very many pictures. Usually at the zoo I snap pictures like I'm a photographer for the Nation Geographic -- impossible with a baby.

Friend and her baby boy 10 1/2 months old


It was so funny... Every two minutes we were stopping to adjust something, feed a baby, change a diaper, wait for little baby girls who can walk. We probably only saw half the exhibits because we could only really be there a couple hours, and with all the stopping... you understand.

Friend and her little girl 1yr 8 months old

Madeline was more interested in my hair, the strap on the stroller, other kids and people, and her sippy cup. So I don't really count this as her first time to see the animals. She didn't really look at any of the animals.

Interesting note... these two are 3 months apart in age and Madeline is bigger than him.

My beautiful little lady...

We did catch this gigantic monkey doing some tricks on the ropes, which was very entertaining.


I ended up buying a zoo membership. We will probably take Madeline back when we can spend the time showing her the animals and when I have Paul's help.

Daily Om

Reference:
http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/adspolink.cgi?iid=111&aid=5543

Creating What We Don't Want: When Worry becomes A Prayer

If prayer is an intention that we announce to the universe in order to create a desired outcome, then our every thought is a prayer. This includes thoughts of worry as well as of hope. All thoughts are subtle creative energy. Some thoughts are more focused or repeated more often, gathering strength. Some are written down or spoken, giving them even greater power. Every thought we have is part of a process whereby we cocreate our experience and our reality with the universe. When we use our creative energy unconsciously, we create what is commonly known as self-fulfilling prophecy. In essence, when we worry, we are repeatedly praying and lending our energy to the creation of something we don't want.

The good news is that we can retrain our minds and thoughts to focus our energy on what we do desire to bring into our lives. Since most worry is repetitive, it will take more than one positive thought to counteract the energy we've created. The simplest antidote to worry is affirmations. When we hold these positive thoughts, repeat them often, speak them and write them and refer to them throughout our day, we are using focused energy to create positive results.

We can start right away, together: I am a creative being, using my energy to cocreate a wonderful world. I know that I create my experience of life from within, and as I do so, I also create ripples of energy around me that echo into the world. My positive thoughts gather together with the thoughts and prayers of others, and together we create enough positive energy to heal not only our own lives but the world we share. I am grateful for the ability to cocreate good in my life and in the world.

A lot of times we have concerned loved ones that worry about us. When this happens they are also sending out a worry prayer to the world. A loving conversation letting them know what is happening is the easiest solution. Also, ask them to send you positive affirmations rather than worry about you. After all, worry doesn't do them any good either. Explain to them that worry can actually be energetically harmful to you and that wishing good things for you is much more beneficial and much more fun too.

A Quote I Heard and Liked

"Love is a friendship set on fire."

Easter

Here are some pictures from Easter...

Paul and his basket

Madeline and her basket
No I am not going to let her eat any of the candy... besides she was more interested in the pink grass.
Along with her bunny and a couple dresses, Madeline got this blue Octiplush thing we have been meaning to get for a while now (I found it on sale - yay!), a pink, bedtime glow worm, and this cute little purple elephant that plays music when you pull on it's butt.

Yeah, pink easter grass!
Mads wearing one of her new dresses and cheesin' it up.

We didn't color eggs this year because I would be the only one eating them anyway, Paul doesn't like hard boiled eggs. Paul did make his special meatballs for dinner, shaped like eggs - so I guess that counts.

We hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend!

It Don't Mean A Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing

I was fumbling through some of my old CDs and I came across an old big band swing CD I bought a few years ago.
Anyway, I put it in the CD player and turned it up loud and Paul immediately started swing dancing with Madeline. It was so adorable I had to get it on video. Their FIRST Daddy-Daughter dance.

Madeline has some fast kickin' legs and some nice moves.

Madeline's Monthly Message: Month 7

Dear Mads! Madelina! Maddle-doodle! Maddy-oh!,

These are some of the nicknames I unconsciously call you on a regular basis, weird huh? My whole life I have been into giving people nicknames, especially people I love and who are close to me. I just think it's fun. I wonder if it bothers people. Like my little sister, your Aunt Amber, for example... I call her bomer lily, bobo, Amb, boom - calling her "AmberLee" or "Amber" just sounds kooky to my ears.

You are 7 months old now and what a little spit-fire you are. You have such an energy about you, such a huge magnificent personality. Your smile beams and creates this force of happiness that cannot be penetrated - it is so addictive. Sometimes your Dad and I do the most hilariously ridiculous things just to make you smile. If we can just get one teeny little grin it's as if our life purpose has been fulfilled.

You're still about 20 pounds (by our scale). You wear a range of clothing sizes - anything from 6 months to 18 months - it just depends on the brand. For the second time in your little life I have had to box some of your clothes because they no longer need to be available in your drawer - they don't fit. We did this the other day. You sat on your blanket smiling and playing with your toys while I folded your little onsies, bawling my head off.

You've started fussing a bit when you don't get your way. You like constant attention when you are awake, and would prefer to be held. I try to hold you as much as I can. How can I not want to hold you as much as possible? An amazing angel wants to hug and kiss me 24 hours a day... could life be any more perfect? Your slobbery kisses are my favorite.

You've mastered the fake cry. I still oblige though as fast as I can because if I don't it turns into the real one and I can't deny those little alligator tears. You say Mom-mom-momma and dadada and so many other different sounds now. I honestly believe you have associated the mom-mom-mom sound with me because you do it when you are really hungry or if I leave your side for a second. I love that you know who I am.

You sit like a pro now, rarely tipping over. Usually if you do tip over it's because you are looking at something in an area that is not in your field of vision, or you are doing one of your random, unpredictable Olympic back dives. You are constantly kicking and moving those little chubby legs. You kick them when we change your diaper a lot. It makes for a tough diaper change and sometimes your foot might get in some poop, but oh well. You can roll very well now, but only if you want to. Everything is done on your terms, always. We're trying to get you to hold your self up with your arms when you are on your belly so we can work on the crawl position, but whenever we put you on your stomach you immediately begin kicking your legs like crazy and put your arms down to your side like you are sliding on one of those water slides you can hook your hose to and lay in your yard. You're doing well though.

Your toys entertain you for a minute or so, but then it's time to move on to something else. I try to let you help me do things and I try to explain everything I do to you. We count when we fill pans with water (our fridge indicated how many ounces you have used), I tell you about different kinds of foods, I spell things for you, let you feel things and explain the different textures... you are going to be so smart in school. You're so interested in everything around you.
The jumperoo is boring to you now, unless your dad jumps with you. If he jumps with you it's all of the sudden cool to jumperoo again. You love tubby time more now. You love to splash and play with the tubby toys I got you... finally. I knew it would eventually happen.

You've tested a large sundry of delicious foods now. When we first started giving you foods I was doing the 5-day wait rule, which quickly turned into the 3-day wait rule because I was so excited to see your reaction to the next food I couldn't stand it. You have now had (in no particular order) rice cereal, oatmeal, carrots, green beans, sweet peas, sweet potato, squash (not your favorite - see picture), banana, applesauce, peach, pear, mango, prune, white potato and recently what the Super Baby Food book I am referencing calls "Super Porridge" - brown rice ground in the blender and then cooked like malto-meal on the stove. To our surprise super porridge smells an awful lot like poop, but it's good for you so we can suffer for a minute while I cook it. You've also had these little things called Mum Mum's - a baby wafer-type thing that dissolves easily, pancakes (no syrup), and sometimes if you're teeth are hurting I let you gnaw on a mini-bagel. Next week I am introducing you to tofu and asparagus! Aren't you excited??!!

Every time we feed you we make airplane noises, among many other strange sound effects. We do this only because it is when we make these noises and pull these silly faces that you will open your mouth really wide... as if to show your appreciation for us taking the time to act goofy. Sometimes I feel like a puppet and you, my puppeteer.

You're still breastfeeding, yay! You don't have any teeth yet, but you sure bite like you do. You bite me. When you are nursing. My sister had the same problem with your cousin and she told me to scream really loud when you bite me because then it will scare you and you won't do it again - that's what worked with your cousin Toshie. Well, I screamed... and you laughed. Every time I scream you laugh. You think it's hilarious. So, hopefully we can reach some kind of non-biting agreement before the buds begin to sprout.

You're still waking up a few times a night. If you fall asleep in the crib or we are able to put you in the crib without you waking up you usually sleep better than if you are in our bed. If we put you in the crib wide awake your entire body stiffens with excitement and you start cooing and squeaking and kicking. Somehow you have associated the crib with major fun times. Most of the time you still end up in our bed at night though. You just like it better. Things have got to change though. I am getting to the point now where my mind is losing common, every day phrases and words due to lack of sleep. It is not normal to wake up every hour or so, or every couple hours. After 7 months of this I am now finding myself saying things like,

"I Go'ed over there"
or
"Hi. How's you?"
or
"Me is hungry"

After I say these things I sit and think, "WHAT did I just say?" I have also put the margarine and the soy milk in the cupboard. Good thing those things don't HAVE to be refrigerated. People always say, "Oh, Edith, if you're tired, just take a nap when the baby naps". Well, I'm not always tired in the middle of the day, and do you realize how many other things I have to do when I can catch a minute to myself? Things like shower, clean, eat, etc. Last week you actually slept through most of the night, only waking up once for TWO NIGHTS in a row. The real icky part - I wasn't able to sleep because I am so used to waking up with you so I laid there and thought about gardening all night. I don't even garden. I would like to. I just laid there thinking about all the things I would LIKE to do. Regardless of how much you wake up at night, you are awake and ready to start the day at 7:00 am sharp.

You and your dad have this bond, James Bond. Seriously though, you guys are like best friends. When he gets home you get so excited. Your little arms and legs get stiff and your big eyes open wide and you twitch with excitement until your dad picks you up. I have the best time watching this happen. Your dad has this way of talking to you where he turns his head away from you and then hurriedly swings it around and says your name or a word, any word, and it makes you laugh and squeak. Peek-a-boo is a great big part of our life. You love it.

I try to take you outside as much as possible but the weather has been bizarre lately. Really windy, rainy, and cold. Hopefully it will get nice again soon. Even when it is nice though, sometimes I have a rough time outside. You do to. Sometimes you get hives on your face and your eyes get red, watery, and puffy. Also, there are SO MANY bugs here Madeline. I don't remember bugs ever bothering me when I was younger. There probably aren't as many large blood sucking mosquitoes out in Utah, where I grew up, because it's not as humid there. A big red bee or two mating mosquitoes flying in your face can really ruin a nice day out in the sun. We've been to the park near our house a few times this month. You really have a great time on the swing and when your dad takes you down the slide.

This month you experienced your first Saint Patrick's Day. I've never been one to go crazy on Saint Patrick's Day. I don't think I even put green on you that day. Sorry. So really, it was more like a regular day than anything else. I remember when I was little in school we would leave our home classroom for some activity and when we got back there were green footprints all over the walls and our desks. The teachers would shout... "Oh, it looks like the leprechaun's have been here!" or something silly like that. Weird.

Another thing that happened this month - I turned 31-yrs-old! I still feel 20... you are only as old as you feel Madeline. You know, my mom had me when she was thirty, and I had you when I was thirty. Thirty years gone just like that. Tragic how the time flies by like it does. You really do need to enjoy every second with your loved ones.

So here I am. Reporting the stats and the updates. Trying to think of any advice I might give you, but all I can really think about as I type this is how scared I am. Scared of the future. Scared of future illness, future relationships and heartbreaks, future trials you will have to go through... I want to take care of it all for you. I want to carry those future burdens for you. As you lay here next to me with your soft porcelain skin and chubby legs, sleeping so peacefully, I just want to hold you tight in my arms and never let go. I don't want to ever let you go Madeline. I love you so much. I know I can't bare those burdens or take them away, and it makes me sort of angry.

We will always be there for you, my sweet angel. We will be there when you need help. I will be there when you need me to hold you, and I will squeeze you tight for as long as you will let me.

Love,

Momma

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my birthday! I am thirty-one years old. I think this calls for some pancakes, don't you?

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday dear me-ee,
Happy birthday to me!

Stripes

Just fooling around a bit with the background. So, do the stripes make it hard to read my posts?

Say Anything

Lately Paul can say anything to Madeline and she'll laugh. She LOVES her Dadda.

Comment From Me To Young Boy In Grocery Store.

If it makes you feel better about yourself to say "chillax" (a combination of the words "chill" and "relax" as described by you to your buddy) then I am okay with that. I just hope you don't use those words when asked in a job interview what you like to do in your spare time. Now pull up your pants. You look ridiculous.

Flip Flopper

Okay... I can't stop thinking about whether or not I should make this blog private or not. It's obviously bothering me. Look what I did this morning when changing Madeline's diaper. I put ANOTHER diaper on her instead of her pants! My mind is somewhere else.


I know, I know... you're thinking,

"Sheesh, what is up with this lady? She was so SURE in the previous post that she was going private. How annoying! First she says she is going to go private. Then she says she isn't. Make up your mind already - Flip Flopper."

There is no need for name calling. Maybe I will just take the month of April to THINK about making it private. What do you think? What would YOU do?

I have been thinking about changing my URL though. "eyesofthebeholders" was just something I thought of, spur of the moment, when I first started my blog. It doesn't really fit me and my blog, and it's hard to remember if there is an "s" at the end or not on the "eye" part or the "beholder" part.

Hmph.

Just go ahead as planned with providing me with your info. and I will make my final decision later.

I Would Love To Keep You.

I've been thinking about this for months... ever since Mads came along really. I think I am going to make my blog private. I realize that this is an inconvenience. It's so nice to click on a link and just be able to see what you want to see without having to sign in first. I totally get that. I feel the same way when I have to sign in to read blogs, but I do it for the blogs I like to read.

The reason I started a blog, well there are two reasons:

#1 Because we live so far from our family and friends in Utah and New York. I thought it would be a great way to stay in touch and let them see what's up in our lives.

#2 For memory sake. A fun way to journal what is happening in our lives.

Sometimes I think,

"Nah, don't go private Edith. Loser."

Other times I think,

"Maybe that Law & Order episode about the stalker child molester was on for a reason and I need to make my blog private. Oh and you are SO not a loser."

So - I'm doing it. I plan to leave the blog open for the month of April, but on May 1st, we're making it official.

If you want to keep tabs on me and my family please send me your email address at edith.annith@gmail.com or leave you email in the comments section of this post, and I will gladly invite you to read my blog. I would love to keep you!! You don't have to be a blogger to sign in. I believe all you need is a regular email address (I'll verify that). Then all you have to do is take an extra two seconds and sign in so you can continue to read about the hilarity, the joy, and the interesting happenings of our daily lives. Seriously... every day is just getting better and better.