Dear Mads! Madelina! Maddle-doodle! Maddy-oh!,These are some of the nicknames I unconsciously call you on a regular basis, weird huh? My whole life I have been into giving people nicknames, especially people I love and who are close to me. I just think it's fun. I wonder if it bothers people. Like my little sister, your Aunt Amber, for example... I call her bomer lily, bobo, Amb, boom - calling her "AmberLee" or "Amber" just sounds kooky to my ears.
You are 7 months old now and what a little spit-fire you are. You have such an energy about you, such a huge magnificent personality. Your smile beams and creates this force of happiness that cannot be penetrated - it is so addictive. Sometimes your Dad and I do the most hilariously ridiculous things just to make you smile. If we can just get one teeny little grin it's as if our life purpose has been fulfilled.
You're still about 20 pounds (by our scale). You wear a range of clothing sizes - anything from 6 months to 18 months - it just depends on the brand. For the second time in your little life I have had to box some of your clothes because they no longer need to be available in your drawer - they don't fit. We did this the other day. You sat on your blanket smiling and playing with your toys while I folded your little onsies, bawling my head off.
You've started fussing a bit when you don't get your way. You like constant attention when you are awake, and would prefer to be held. I try to hold you as much as I can. How can I not want to hold you as much as possible? An amazing angel wants to hug and kiss me 24 hours a day... could life be any more perfect? Your slobbery kisses are my favorite.
You've mastered the fake cry. I still oblige though as fast as I can because if I don't it turns into the real one and I can't deny those little alligator tears. You say Mom-mom-momma and dadada and so many other different sounds now. I honestly believe you have associated the mom-mom-mom sound with me because you do it when you are really hungry or if I leave your side for a second. I love that you know who I am.
You sit like a pro now, rarely tipping over. Usually if you do tip over it's because you are looking at something in an area that is not in your field of vision, or you are doing one of your random, unpredictable Olympic back dives. You are constantly kicking and moving those little chubby legs. You kick them when we change your diaper a lot. It makes for a tough diaper change and sometimes your foot might get in some poop, but oh well. You can roll very well now, but only if you want to. Everything is done on your terms, always. We're trying to get you to hold your self up with your arms when you are on your belly so we can work on the crawl position, but whenever we put you on your stomach you immediately begin kicking your legs like crazy and put your arms down to your side like you are sliding on one of those water slides you can hook your hose to and lay in your yard. You're doing well though.
Your toys entertain you for a minute or so, but then it's time to move on to something else. I try to let you help me do things and I try to explain everything I do to you. We count when we fill pans with water (our fridge indicated how many ounces you have used), I tell you about different kinds of foods, I spell things for you, let you feel things and explain the different textures... you are going to be so smart in school. You're so interested in everything around you.
The jumperoo is boring to you now, unless your dad jumps with you. If he jumps with you it's all of the sudden cool to jumperoo again. You love tubby time more now. You love to splash and play with the tubby toys I got you... finally. I knew it would eventually happen.
You've tested a large sundry of delicious foods now. When we first started giving you foods I was doing the 5-day wait rule, which quickly turned into the 3-day wait rule because I was so excited to see your reaction to the next food I couldn't stand it. You have now had (in no particular order) rice cereal, oatmeal, carrots, green beans, sweet peas, sweet potato, squash (not your favorite - see picture), banana, applesauce, peach, pear, mango, prune, white potato and recently what the Super Baby Food book I am referencing calls "Super Porridge" - brown rice ground in the blender and then cooked like malto-meal on the stove. To our surprise super porridge smells an awful lot like poop, but it's good for you so we can suffer for a minute while I cook it. You've also had these little things called Mum Mum's - a baby wafer-type thing that dissolves easily, pancakes (no syrup), and sometimes if you're teeth are hurting I let you gnaw on a mini-bagel. Next week I am introducing you to tofu and asparagus! Aren't you excited??!!
Every time we feed you we make airplane noises, among many other strange sound effects. We do this only because it is when we make these noises and pull these silly faces that you will open your mouth really wide... as if to show your appreciation for us taking the time to act goofy. Sometimes I feel like a puppet and you, my puppeteer.
You're still breastfeeding, yay! You don't have any teeth yet, but you sure bite like you do. You bite me. When you are nursing. My sister had the same problem with your cousin and she told me to scream really loud when you bite me because then it will scare you and you won't do it again - that's what worked with your cousin Toshie. Well, I screamed... and you laughed. Every time I scream you laugh. You think it's hilarious. So, hopefully we can reach some kind of non-biting agreement before the buds begin to sprout.
You're still waking up a few times a night. If you fall asleep in the crib or we are able to put you in the crib without you waking up you usually sleep better than if you are in our bed. If we put you in the crib wide awake your entire body stiffens with excitement and you start cooing and squeaking and kicking. Somehow you have associated the crib with major fun times. Most of the time you still end up in our bed at night though. You just like it better. Things have got to change though. I am getting to the point now where my mind is losing common, every day phrases and words due to lack of sleep. It is not normal to wake up every hour or so, or every couple hours. After 7 months of this I am now finding myself saying things like,"I Go'ed over there"
or
"Hi. How's you?"
or
"Me is hungry"
After I say these things I sit and think, "WHAT did I just say?" I have also put the margarine and the soy milk in the cupboard. Good thing those things don't HAVE to be refrigerated. People always say, "Oh, Edith, if you're tired, just take a nap when the baby naps". Well, I'm not always tired in the middle of the day, and do you realize how many other things I have to do when I can catch a minute to myself? Things like shower, clean, eat, etc. Last week you actually slept through most of the night, only waking up once for TWO NIGHTS in a row. The real icky part - I wasn't able to sleep because I am so used to waking up with you so I laid there and thought about gardening all night. I don't even garden. I would like to. I just laid there thinking about all the things I would LIKE to do. Regardless of how much you wake up at night, you are awake and ready to start the day at 7:00 am sharp.
You and your dad have this bond, James Bond. Seriously though, you guys are like best friends. When he gets home you get so excited. Your little arms and legs get stiff and your big eyes open wide and you twitch with excitement until your dad picks you up. I have the best time watching this happen. Your dad has this way of talking to you where he turns his head away from you and then hurriedly swings it around and says your name or a word, any word, and it makes you laugh and squeak. Peek-a-boo is a great big part of our life. You love it.
I try to take you outside as much as possible but the weather has been bizarre lately. Really windy, rainy, and cold. Hopefully it will get nice again soon. Even when it is nice though, sometimes I have a rough time outside. You do to. Sometimes you get hives on your face and your eyes get red, watery, and puffy. Also, there are SO MANY bugs here Madeline. I don't remember bugs ever bothering me when I was younger. There probably aren't as many large blood sucking mosquitoes out in Utah, where I grew up, because it's not as humid there. A big red bee or two mating mosquitoes flying in your face can really ruin a nice day out in the sun. We've been to the park near our house a few times this month. You really have a great time on the swing and when your dad takes you down the slide.This month you experienced your first Saint Patrick's Day. I've never been one to go crazy on Saint Patrick's Day. I don't think I even put green on you that day. Sorry. So really, it was more like a regular day than anything else. I remember when I was little in school we would leave our home classroom for some activity and when we got back there were green footprints all over the walls and our desks. The teachers would shout... "Oh, it looks like the leprechaun's have been here!" or something silly like that. Weird.
Another thing that happened this month - I turned 31-yrs-old! I still feel 20... you are only as old as you feel Madeline. You know, my mom had me when she was thirty, and I had you when I was thirty. Thirty years gone just like that. Tragic how the time flies by like it does. You really do need to enjoy every second with your loved ones.
So here I am. Reporting the stats and the updates. Trying to think of any advice I might give you, but all I can really think about as I type this is how scared I am. Scared of the future. Scared of future illness, future relationships and heartbreaks, future trials you will have to go through... I want to take care of it all for you. I want to carry those future burdens for you. As you lay here next to me with your soft porcelain skin and chubby legs, sleeping so peacefully, I just want to hold you tight in my arms and never let go. I don't want to ever let you go Madeline. I love you so much. I know I can't bare those burdens or take them away, and it makes me sort of angry.
We will always be there for you, my sweet angel. We will be there when you need help. I will be there when you need me to hold you, and I will squeeze you tight for as long as you will let me.
Love,
Momma
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