Those Darn Shoes.

On our way up the stairs to bed... Madeline stops and drops to the floor.
Me: "What are you doing? Let's go. It's bedtime"
Mads: "Carry me."
Me: "Madeline, I am not going to carry you. You have two healthy, strong legs, and my arms are full." (already carrying Abs, some books, and some water).
Mads: "My legs aren't working." (Moans and fake bottom lip shaking)
Me: "Madeline... lets go. Stop playing games." (continue walking up stairs).
Mads: "aaaahhhhh... my legs! My legs! They hurt! I can't walk. Ahhh haa haaa"
Me: "Do we need to go to the hospital? Do you need surgery? Do you need... a great big shot?" (thinking this would stop the moaning).
Mads: "Yes. I need to go to the hospital. I want to be in the stroller because I can't walk..." (moaning and screaming).
Me: (fake calling the doctor on my cell, but calling Paul's cell instead) "So Dr., she will need 10 shots AND can't play outside, go to school, or go to dance class ever again? Will you tell her? K. Here's the phone Mads. It's the doctor who will do your surgery"
Mads: "Hello? Uh huh." (high pitched moan) "Oh-kay...huuh huuh... Mom. let's go."
Me: "Okay. Go upstairs and get your shoes."
Mads: (Stands up. RUNS UP THE STAIRS TO HER CLOSET to get her shoes.)
Me: (from the hallway) "HA! You CAN walk! Ha!"
Mads: (With the realization she has been caught in her lie, drops to the floor screaming in agony).