Letter To Boomy McBoom Pants Next Door.

Dear Boomy McBoom Pants,

It's been a couple weeks now since you moved in. I saw you outside the other day and you said, "Happy Easter" to me and Mr. Huzzabus. I thought that was really nice and friendly of you. You seem like a nice person. I don't think you have yet made the connection of who I am.

So what happens to you after 10:30 pm at night that makes you think turning up your, probably rockin' awesome, stereo system is okay? You do realize our bedroom is on the other side of your paper-thin wall, don't you? Also, you do realize that when I pound with all of my might and gumption on said wall that it means you should turn your radio down or preferably off, don't you?

We've been through this charade before my Easter-loving friend. So what makes you think turning it up even louder after I pound on the wall is going to solve anything? You really think this makes you look macho? Like you have all the power in this neighborly relationship? THAT is where you are mistaken buddy.

I am keeping notes of all the times you choose to act like an ignorant fool! I will turn in this information as proof and this, in turn, will cause the apartment manager to tell me they will come talk to you about turning your radio off after 9:00 pm. They probably won't really talk to you though cause we live in the ghetto and they are just as scared as I am. But telling on you will feel so right.

You're just lucky I am not a neurosurgeon who will be doing surgery tomorrow on your mother (not that I wouldn't try to do the best I can, just that I would have had no sleep cause of your booms) and that I am a scared, non-confrontational peacemaker. In a perfect world I would come over and knock on your door. When you opened it, I would calmly walk into your living area and remove your radio gently, but forcefully, out the window without suffering any consequences.

Yours Truly,
Edith Annith

P.S. I have always wanted to call someone an "ignortant fool" so thanks.

Historical Moment

We're renewing our lease next week for one more year in this closet of an apartment we currently reside in. Honestly, it has served us well and it has helped us to save for our future home. It's really all we have needed. But boy am I ready to blow this joint!

This is a historical moment and a time for joyous celebration!!

Things I will not miss:
1. Eating dinner in front of the TV (whether it is on OR off)

2. Stompy McStompsAlot upstairs

3. Wall-Banger McDipwad to the right

4. Being at an increased risk for possible car theft, murder, mugging, etc.

5. Having to turn the heater on when we want hot water (yes this is STILL an issue)

6. Walking 3 miles to take the trash out (exaggeration, it's far, but not that far. But could they get a couple more dumpsters?? Geez! The two they have are overflowing the day after they are emptied)

7. Close neighbors: Now, there is always a possibility that we will have strange neighbors even when we buy our home. But at least at that time, they won't be so close that we can hear them urinating.

The latest crazy wierdo is a guy on the 3rd floor who won't pay his power bill. At least once a week his fire alarm goes off because he lights a candle for Apartment illumination in the evening. We went up there once cause we thought he was dying or burning to death or something... yikes buddy. It was freaky.

My questions...
Why don't you buy a flashlight?
Why don't you place the candle in your living room rather than directly under your fire alarm in the kitchen?
How can you sit there and calmly allow the fire alarm to go on for hours on end??? Hello??!!! Are you insane?

8. Lack of storage and space. Although our living room/dining room/game room/exercise room/art room/library has been fun, I will not miss it.

There is absolutely no room for anything. We are bursting at the seams. We would love to invite friends over to play games or darts or watch a movie... but someone would have to sit on the weight bench or the floor. And you have to climb over the elliptical to pick up any darts that fall to the floor. And if we pull out the fold out table to play a game, you may have to crawl under the table to get to the bathroom.

9. The paper-thin walls and doors that do not provide any sort of insulation or privacy.

10. The scary, slipperly, steep stairs. I wonder if we could just leave all our crap here when we do finally move. Hmm.

And so, we wait. One more year. Let the count down begin!!