I had two of the most awful baby dreams last night. I will try to describe the horror in words... if I had time I'd draw you a picture so you could truly understand, but I should probably just leave that one alone.
Before I go into this, I don't watch scary movies. Ever. Paul and I decided a long time ago that scary movies were... well, stupid. They scare us! We dislike being scared and being made to feel on edge in that manner. Besides, who wants bad dreams? Not us!
Now I do see several surgeries a day. It has never really bothered me seeing all the things that I see because it is a job and most of these people who are having these surgeries may have no other choice and NEED this help, and I am there to help and protect them.
Okay. So the first dream was about stretchmarks. I have been reading in my Motherhood and Maternity nursing books lately because they have pictures and they tell you the facts - unlike someone other "what to expect" books that sugar coat stuff and leave out stuff - the details someone like me needs when it comes to me and my body. In my nursing books there are pictures of different big pregnant bellies with stretchmarks. Some are slight some are unbelievable!! I can understand that it might look THAT BAD though with how little some women are and how big some babies can be.
So in the dream I look down at my belly and I have some very light, almost undetectable stretchmarks. All the sudden, one of them starts to buldge out a little and pulsate. Then it turns red. It starts blowing up a little like a balloon. Then all the sudden my entire belly breaks out into this watermelon striped mess... except the stripes are not nice and green like a watermelon, they are rigid and dark brown and red and they almost look like coffee grounds.
THEN!!! I'm looking down at them and all the sudden I realize.... THESE ARE NO STRETCH MARKS!!! MY STOMACH IS CRACKING OPEN!!!!! Not only can I see all my intestines and guts - and from my job I know what these things look like - but as I peer into my stomach, I see a baby. Actually, it's a baby's face. The baby is bald, not fully grown yet, and it is looking up at me with this expression that looks as if to say,
"Hey, what are you looking at. What are you? Where am I? I'm not ready!!!"
Then I look over to my right... there is ANOTHER BABY!!! It has the same look on it's face.
So then I am freaking out, trying to hold my abdomen together so these babies don't die. All the sudden I am outside at the house I grew up at in Utah. I am wearing a button up shirt and some high heels, no pants, and I am bleeding as I run into my old house and into my old bedroom. There are clothes everywhere. I stand there in fear.
Then I wake up cause the cat was scratching at the door.
WHOA huh??!! I know! FA-REEEEEEAKYY!
So then I go back to sleep. This one is not as long, promise.
This time I am with my family. It's around Christmas and we decided to go to the mall. I have a 2 month old baby boy with me. He's really cute, but I keep misplacing him and finding him in weird places. Then all the sudden, I see Shawna and her entire family at some restaurant!! Even Grandma! I am so happy to see them I jump over the table we are at. The waiter lunges toward me as if to contain my excitement, but he can't. Shawna and her family are leaving. They don't see me. I yell at the waiter.
"Those are my friends!!! Move!!!!!!!!"
And he's like,
"Ma'am, you cannot behave this way. This is a fine establishment and you blah blah blah...."
I'm not listening.
So I run out the restaurant leaving my baby to catch them and I yell Shawna's name. She turns! I remember I have a baby in the restaurant and I need go get him. So I go back. Shawna comes to see me. We're talking and as I go to pick up my baby I see that he is now the size of a fat 13-year-old boy.
He's still 2 months old and he looks like a 2 month old baby would, but he is gigantic!! I cant lift him because it would be like picking up a 280lb man.
That was that one.
I have had other dreams that aren't as fresh in detail. So many I could write a book. Maybe I will. Of course, no one else really cares about the dreams I am having. I'd love to take these to a dream interpreter or something. I wonder if there is any meaning to these dreams.
I am not pregnant with twins by the way. There is definitely only one little lady in there.
2 comments:
Wow! those are doozies!!! I have experienced this myself. Although the REALLY psycho ones were with my first baby as well. I actually had a dream where my baby got lost(or misplaced) while I was shopping- I remember being hysterical in my dream. It wasn't much better when I woke up because I was sure it was an omen that I was going to be a terrible mother. Rest assured, I haven't misplaced one of my children yet ;) I am sure it is a combination of nerves and stress. So if it's comforting in any way, it's perfectly normal to go a little crazy in your dreams ;) ;). By the way, you should keep writing them down, Madeline will get a kick out of reading about them someday.
Well I feel honored that I was in one of your dreams...even though it was crazy weird!
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