Paul's Life Lessons: Tupperware

Paul: taking a tupperware container out of the fridge, "Did you put this in here without the lid on securely?"

Me: "Yes. You're going to eat the chicken that's in it right now anyway, why does it matter?"

Paul: proceeds to demonstrate how to properly secure the tupperware lid.

Me: "awesome, thanks."

Soap Bits

We had already gone grocery shopping for the week when I discovered we were out of Irish Spring body soap. We usually buy our soap in bulk at Sam's Club, and it lasts us a pretty long time. Just reach under the sink and grab a new bar... easy.

I use the Irish Spring sometimes. Other times I will use my Dial Mountain Fresh liquid body soap and my loofa (it smells like lilacs and helps bring out my feminine side).

Once I realized we were out of soap, except for the small little soap bits in the shower, I notified Paul of our predicament....

"We better go to the store and get some soap," I said.

Paul's immediate reply, "I could last the whole week on what's left in that shower."

"Whatever!" I said. "You wanna bet?"

The Soap Bits

Hence... the stipulations:
1. Paul will shower exactly how he normally does, washing every nook and cranny

2. Paul will only use the soap bits, and not any of my body soap or shampoo

3. Paul will use the soap every day, and in every shower taken - not skipping a day and just rinsing. This applies to the days we go to the gym and he takes 2 showers.

4. I will not use any of the soap bits or sabotage the bits by throwing them away or accidentally knocking them down the drain.

5. If Paul runs out of soap bits, he must accept defeat and not sneak to the store and buy another bar of Irish Spring and artistically alter it to look like soap bits.

The Winner's Reward...
If I win: I get a 1 hour massage. I can't lose! Paul is a teddy bear! A giant loofa in and of himself!

If Paul wins: I will take the garbage out for a week.

Life Changing Decisions: Eyeliner

I've decided to stop wearing eyeliner - at least on the bottom lid of my eye, and for every day make-up. I mean, I guess if we go out I might wear it cause it gives you that.... "I'm out being pretty" look.

I was watching a makeover show the other day and the make-up artist was giving fresh "tips" on how to look more natural while wearing make-up. Apparently, if you put eyeliner on the top AND bottom of your eyelid - it makes your eyes look smaller.... what do you think?

#1 we have the top with NO eyeliner
#2 only the top lid having eyeliner
#3 and finally both top and bottom having eyeliner applied




















I know what you're thinking... if I wanted to look more natural, I could just not wear make-up at all! Duh, Edith. Well... that's a no go. This is what I look like without make-up...




No thanks.

Double Vision

WooOooOooOoo!!!

Weigh. Your. Bananas.

My husband, Paul, is a very good husband. We go grocery shopping together whenever we need anything. While shopping, I push the cart - usually - cause Paul doesn't want to look like a "Nancy boy," and that's fine with me. He frequently rubs my shoulders or plays with my hair while we peruse the isles and walk around the store. Talk about a lucky lady, eh gals??!

We have set up a system...
1. We use the self-checkout if possible
2. Paul runs the items over the scanner and slides the card for payment
3. I bag the groceries and usually grab the receipt

Our system works well. But there is one thing I find hilarious and peculiar about our shopping trips. For some reason, whenever Paul is weighing fruit, he shoots his hands up as if someone was holding a gun on him and has just told him to "stick 'em up!". He does it quick, he does it abruptly... it's startling at times.

I've asked him why he does this and he never really answers. Is it because he doesn't want the machine to calculate in any of his body weight if he were to have a finger placed on the fruit or vegetable being weighed, in order to avoid an extra charge?? Is it because he doesn't want the video camera to think he is doing something sneaky??

All I know is, it is fun to watch and it makes me laugh. What a darling man.

-Laughter is the best medicine
--------------------------------------

This is Paul.
The reason why I do the arm raise is to avoid having to do a reweigh of the product. To increase my speed I used to leave my hand on the bag that was being weighed. This didn't work, it seemed that I would always have to reweigh the product because it may have "looked like" I was lifting the bag as I was weighing to decrease the weight. This was never the case. Since I have had to reweigh several times I have changed my technique. I raise my arms up so there is no question that I am weighing the item only. This will leave no doubt to the camera people and the self checkout lady, in the event that the machine was reset by one of them. Since I have implemented the method I have never needed to reweigh a product at a Walmart self check out. The method has been proven over 5 years.

In case you were wondering.
Paul

I'm Kinda Tired

I didn't sleep a wink last night.

Have you ever just had one of those nights? You can't get comfortable, your hot - so you take the blanket off, but then you get cold. The guy upstairs, who apparently has 50 pound weights on each foot and stomps with all his might when he walks, can't seem to sit still. It's 3:00 am buddy!!!

A car outside comes driving into the parking lot with the radio blaring... the "boom! boom!" of the speakers shakes my very soul!!! We get it man!!! You are SO COOL with your loud A$$ radio. He sits in the parking lot with it blaring just a little bit longer while he.... what? I have no idea. Picks his nose?

As I lay there, I begin to imagine myself, and my life, as a video game... I am equipped with a bazooka.... I blow up the booming car. I blow up my neighbor. It's just a game, right? Now I can get some sleep....ahhhhh....

Nope.

Now my mind is racing... I really need to figure out a paper topic for my advanced class.... That pumpkin out on the counter is rotting.... I should throw it out.... flies.... ugh..... tomorrow is clinical... do I have everything?.... why won't Paul stop moving his foot.... Oh great... now he has his knee up and it keeps falling to the side.... It's 4:30 am.... I can still get 2 1/2 hours... come on!!

Silence?

The birds decide to start chirping.... I hate nature. It's WINTER!! Fly south!!! Oh wait, this is the South.

So... I guess I'll sleep on Friday.

Boo!

We carved a pumpkin this weekend. You know they're charging $5.00 for a pumpkin now? Since we're trying to save money for our dream house (every penny counts!), we just got one.

I carved one side, and Paul carved the other.

The past 2 years for halloween we've gotten those really tiny pumpkins and painted faces on them, but this year I really wanted to do it the old fashioned way. Paul was debatable, but I convinced him to go along with it by stating I would scoop out the slimey pumpkin guts. I did use yellow rubber gloves though.... half way through, I took them off.

That's right... I have been feeling really uninhibited lately. I am a mad woman!

Mad Gab of the day...

"Amen Ask Hurt"

Say it fast, sound it out... what am I really saying here?

Bless Me.

I sneezed today and bit my tongue at the same time. The sneeze felt great, but the bite hurt like a mother. Such a paradox. Being a "cup half full" kinda gal, I decided to focus on the positive and bask in the joy of a good sneeze. It was magnificent.

Old People Are Funny

Yesterday I spent my morning, and part of my afternoon, helping out at a health fair being put on at a retirement community here in Memphis.

My partner and I were there to teach/remind the residents living there about proper foot care as we age. We had a whole little presentation and a nifty looking handout with tips for maintaining healthy feet and pictures of feet on it for anyone who passed by our table to take home and hang on their fridge.

*By the way, proper foot care is essential for people of ALL ages*

Anyway, in a room nearby there were nurses giving flu shots to all of the residents and they needed assistance preparing the syringes and getting bandaids ready - to speed up the process. So, I spent a good portion of the day helping out in the shot room.

The big joke between the older folks was something about a "square needle." They thought it was funny to tell the nurses to use a square needle on their buddies so it would hurt more. They laughed and laughed about it.

There was one guy - aged 94 years, and extremely active and chipper - who thought it would be funny to scream when he got his shot. The whole room jumped and then started laughing - all except for one woman. It severely scared her, and she was hesitant to get her shot at all. She kept referring to the man who scrame as,
"not right" and, "a weasle."

The funniest part of my day was when an 86-yr-old man came up to the nurse I was helping to get his shot. The nurse told him to take a seat on the chair and she would give him his flu shot. He replied,

"take a seat on my lap, little lady, and I'll give you a poke right back." He-llo!!

Beauty

This is what it looked like outside my apartment just moments ago... I had to share.

I LOVE the sky.
These pictures have not been doctored in any way. Click on them for a closer look.

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris A.K.A. Walker Texas Ranger

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart Disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer

Source: I found this http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/.

So I had a bad day...la la la laaaa

It's been a rough week. The Huzz-a-bus is out of town on business until Friday (he left Monday), so I am feeling pretty alone. School is stressful... there is so much to learn and do!! Also, I have been sick the past couple of days with "I-have-no-idea-itis".

I've spent the last couple of nights with a fever, shivering uncontrollably with the chills, and with a headache that just won't quit. NO sleep. I think at one point on Tuesday I was just wishing my head would explode and it would be done with already.
Thankfully, it didn't, and I am here to tell this tale. I am feeling MUCH better today.

Despite my ill feelings, I still had two clinicals to attend this week, and a lesson plan on foot care to prepare. Also, for my ICU clinical, I have to prepare a nursing care plan, interpret my patient's ECG, and fill out a lab sheet explaining any abnormal lab values, their meanings, and any nursing interventions I will be doing because of the abnormal values... blah blah blah boring nurse talk.

I didn't want to miss clinical. If I miss clinical I have to write a 6 page paper on a subject of my instructor's choice. I hate writing papers. So because I was sick, my care plan wasn't really that great this week and for some reason - which escapes me at this time, and made me look like a complete idiot when I was talking to my instructor - I forgot to fill out my lab sheet. This, and the fact that I forgot several very important nursing diagnosis related to my patient, pretty much guarentees an UNSATISFACTORY care plan.

UNsatisfactory. The word causes a chill to run down my spine. I.... hate.... to.... fail. I guess you could say I am a perfectionist.

So, of all the things to do in a tough situation... I cried.


Today, in front of my instructor, my peers, other nurses on the ICU unit, doctors, patient family members, the janitor sweeping the floor... I cried. I bawled my freakin' eyes out! We are talking uncontrollable crying. The kind where you do that weird double breath thing. The kind where your eyes swell up, your face turns beet red, and your nose becomes twice it's normal size.

Anyway, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. Spurting out all of my problems to my instructor in a barely audible voice. I felt sorry for myself for most of the week... until today.

Today, I found out that a fellow nursing student lost her 4 month old baby to SIDS.
Today, I saw someone die in the ICU.
Today, I found out a friend of mine got in a car accident. She has sores up and down her neck and bruises everywhere. Her car is totalled, but thankfully she is okay.
Today, I had a patient who had 2 chest tubes, sepsis (systemic bacterial infection), congestive heart failure, respiratory failure, and tubes in every hole of the body.
Today, I saw a dog get hit by a car.
Today, I remembered my nephew has a broken leg and one of my best friends has shingles.
Today, I remembered I have an amazing, loving husband, an awesome family, cool friends, a place to live, food to eat, freedom... the list is endless.
Today, I remember how Jesus suffered for my sins on the cross.

There were big and small reminders everywhere I looked today. Reminders that I really have nothing to complain about. Today I, Edith, a.k.a. "BIG BOOB," realize that my life is pretty amazing! I am unbelievably blessed!!

Not that being sick isn't serious. Not that my stress level isn't important. But we all have bad days, and my trials fail to compare to the trials and suffering of many others.

Yes... nursing school is hard. Yes, to be a good nurse I need to learn how to control my emotions (this is going to be the hardest thing ever for me to conquer - I cry at commercials, when OTHER people show concern for me and are nice to me, when a cloud is extra puffy and aesthetically pleasing....) There is a lot that I need to learn and know because I am going to taking care of people. People are trusting me with their lives! These experiences will only make me stronger. They will make me a better nurse.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)

I Went To The Dentist Today

It's been 5 years since I have been to a dentist. Probably longer for Paul.
This isn't something we are proud of, time just got the best of us and we never really had any reason to go to a dentist.

We've always brushed, but we didn't really start flossing and scraping our tongues until about a few months ago when we began our quest for better teeth.

So far, it has made quite a difference in a lot of things...

-my gums no longer bleed
-our breath doesn't stink (it wasn't really that bad before, but now it REALLY doesn't stink)
-we no longer walk around with things inbetween our teeth... it's "a good thing."

But, it has been 5 years... and my teeth are a little sensitive sometimes.

So, after 5 years of not seeing a dentist, I was expecting the worst.

My dentist was a nice man. He spoke in a very calm voice... do you remember Bob Ross? He used to do that show on public television called "The Joy Of Painting"? My dentist sounds exactly like him!



While he was scraping my teeth he would say things like..."ahhh, there you go... very nice. Just like that...."

Anyway, they took an X-ray - looks good!
They scraped the decay off - looks good!!
Do I have any cavities? No! Looks good!!!

I felt great joy and gratitude upon hearing this information.

Great joy, and gratitude - similar to the great joy and gratitude described by Deanna Troi in the 2nd episode of Star Trek the next generation, Encounter at Farpoint: Part 2, that was being felt by the large space creature (that could take any form) after it was released and let free to join it's mate.

Below: see "great joy and gratitude" at it's best.

(You have to see the episode to really understand the hilarity of those words "great joy and gratitude". Deanna repeats it with a very funny accent and tear-filled eyes over and over... it made me and Paul laugh our butts off when we saw it once, and ever since then when we are happy about something we say we have great joy and gratitude - just like Deanna.)

The point is, I do NOT have to go back to the dentist and spend hundreds of dollars fixing my teeth.

I shall continue my morning and evening routines of flossing, brushing, scraping and mouthwashing, and life will be peachy.

Very Angry Cat !!! Beware!

This cat does NOT like to be on video. Hahahaha