She's only 3 weeks and one day old and early this morning Madeline started to smile at me. Don't get me wrong... she has smiled before. But it has only been with extreme pleasure from release of gas or when she is in her "half asleep/half awake moaning and making adorable high-pitched noises" phase of consciousness. Today she has smiled several times at me, wide awake, in response to an "I love you" or an invitation to nurse (I will capture it on camera, just haven't yet... not the nursing, her smile, ya perv). Her smile is like peeking into heaven.
I cannot express with words how it feels to be a mother. It has been something I have hoped for my entire life. I never imagined, when I was younger, that I would have to wait as long as I have waited for her (I am 30), but everything that has happened makes sense now. Everything in my life has happened for a reason. Certain things needed to occur before Madeline arrived.
I needed to meet Paul. There is no other man in existence, no other man that I could love more than I love him. He was meant to be Madeline's dad. He is the perfect husband, friend, and father, and it only gets better every day. We needed his patience, forgiveness, knowledge, and unconditional love.
I needed to finish my degree. We needed to be financially stable enough and be in a home so we could provide her with the life she deserves... and now, she is here. The time is here, and the love I feel inside is overwhelming! I love many people. I am blessed with a family and friends who are universally and eternally awesome (you know who you are)... but I have never loved like this.
This is us yesterday taking a walk, stretchin' our legs.
This little person, who is speedily growing mind you, chose us. We were chosen to take care of her. We were trusted with her enormous spirit. It is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.
7 comments:
Edith, I completly understand what you said. I was the same way with finding the right husband and father for me and my kids.. I always thought that as I got older I would not get married or have kids by the time I was 30. But I found my wonderful husband and even though it took us 2 years to have our twins I still got pregnant 2 months before I was to turn 30 and had them at 30 yrs old so like you said it all works out and sometimes things just have to be in place before things can happen! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and it is so wonderful to be a mom! Madeline is so cute and is so lucky to have you as her mommy..
Oh Edith, she is precious. Good job :)
She is so, so beautiful! And I love hearing how happy you are. Good for you for getting out on a walk already! I swear, I don't leave the house for at least a month, so that's HUGE in my eyes!!! You look wonderful, by the way.
what a beautiful blog. I understand completely what you are talking about.
Edith- this was a beautiful post!!! You are a BEAUTIFUL family!
E.D.! What a beautiful post. I cried. You said everything so perfectly. I'm so excited for your happiness and words! love ya. You're a very cute mom by the way. You look fantastic!
That was lovely, my dear. :)
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