Madeline's Monthly Message: Month 3

Dear Madeline,

Three months has gone by like a heartbeat, and you are growing and learning just as fast (this months letter is a few days early). At your 2-month check-up on November 12th, you were 14 pounds, 12 ounces, and 24 inches long. Your weight and height are in the 95% for your age. I wonder if you are going to be taller than your momma? It's pretty likely. It will be interesting to see. I am 5 ' 5" tall but your dad is 5' 11". Maybe you'll be right in the middle?

You are still a very good eater. I've actually stopped keeping track of when you eat and when I last fed you. I feel like it is important to follow your cues more than some chart or book. Of course, in the back of my mind I still glance at a clock, I just don't write it down anymore. You are chubby, happy, and you poop and pee a lot - I think that's a great indicator you are doing well. You aren't spitting up as much, if at all now, and you no longer have blood in your poop. No more taking pictures of your poop to show the Pediatrician (momma likes to be thorough). I am staying away from eggs, chocolate, most dairy, and sugar when I can. Momma has a sweet tooth though.

Nursing time is a wonderful time for me. You have started to talk to me and smile while you eat. Sometimes we play this game where you start to drink, then pull off, say "ah-goo!" and other wonderful baby sounds, and then start drinking again. It makes me laugh so hard sometimes that you smile really big and start laughing yourself.

*[ADDED 12/10/08] You have slept through the night for the past 3 nights! It has been pretty nice getting sleep! Not that you were giving me hard time before... you were only waking up once or twice. Now, if my breasts would just adjust to the schedule we would be set! I wake up so engorged it is hilarious!! It's like a loose fire hose at times.

You take a bottle AND a binky now. Reasons for this will be explained in further reading of this letter.

It was at your 2-month check-up that you received the first of what will be a series of annoying poking and prodding that will occur the first few years of your life - your vaccinations. This time around you received 3 shots and 1 oral medication and you! were! MAD!! The nurse was a brunhilda beast and very mean - at least, that is the impression I got of someone stabbing my baby and telling me to hold your arms. I am sure that she is just a nice person who has to poke babies for a living and tries to disconnect herself from the immense pain she brings to angelic babies each day. It was hard for momma to see you get a shot. I see people get shots all the time, heck I GIVE them shots, but seeing you... sigh

On November 13th, 2008, my mother's mom, my beautiful Grandma Vivi passed away.

Vivi is very special to me and so is my mom, your Grandma Suzi. Vivi has always been my favorite grandma. I feel sorry that you will not know her personally in this life. I know you knew her before and you will know her again though, so I don't dwell on that thought much. I will share my memories of her with you when you are older. Because of her passing, you got to go on your first airplane ride and also learned how to take a binky. Under any other circumstance I would not take you on an airplane at your age, but this was important. So me and you took a trip home to Utah. You were such a good baby. You loved sitting alone in the airplane seat. Such a big girl! It was a bittersweet trip. The funeral was very nice, and it was so great to see all of the family. At the funeral we saw many pictures that we haven't seen before. One was of my mom as a baby. You look a lot like your Grandma Suzi did when she was a baby.

#1 Four generation photo - my mom, G. Vivi, G.G. Lily, G.G.G. Lily's Mom.
#2 Madeline and her Grandma Suzi
#3 G. Vivi as a young woman.

I was very happy that you were able to meet my brothers and sisters and your other cousins before you got too much older. I wanted them to have the opportunity to see you in person and hold you while you were a baby. They loved you. Everyone wanted to hold you and hug you, and they did. It was special.

You and the only other girl cousin on my side of the family, Aubrey Kay.

On November 24th my maternity leave was up. This meant that I would be going back to work. Your Dad and I both feel like it is best that we take care of you. We know there are nice people out there in the Daycare centers and who do babysitting in their homes, but we don't want that for you. We want one of us to be with you at all times if possible, and with some sacrifice, it is possible for us right now. If that changes, we will do what we have to do, because sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to take care of your family. It was not an easy decision. I have been back and forth with it... Should I just be a stay-at-home mom? Should I try to get the evening shift at work and your dad and I can do a baby swap? Should I do part-time? What if I can't get the evening shift? Should I take this other job that is PERFECT except for the shift time that a friend told me about? Basically, it finally came down to my instinct.

I feel it is extremely important for us, for you Madeline, to always trust your instincts. They occur for a reason. What my instinct told me was to be a stay-at-home mom. So, I talked to my boss, who is awesome and totally willing to work with me on whatever I want to do, and told her I was giving my notice. I was going to stay home with my baby. I made this decision, not because I don't think your Dad can take care of you, because he can, he does, and he is amazing at it (more about that later), but because I feel like as a woman, and as your mother, I have something special only I can give you with my time and love. I also feel like I can take better care of your dad, our home, our kitty, and myself if I have a little time to get our lives back on track and on a schedule.

So I went to the hospital, I had my resignation letter in hand, and I had filled out the exit interview form they ask you to fill out and it was ready to turn in... but I had this feeling. Maybe there was a compromise? You see the wishy-washyness? In politics, this is known as "flip-flopping". I met with my boss one last time and decided I would stay on and work just 1 day a week. There are a number of reasons for this. First, the economy is really bad. We are in a recession right now, and companies all over the country are laying off people in the thousands. What would we do if your dad lost his job for some reason? Second, I need to keep my skills up so when I do start back full-time (when you are older) I won't be completely lost. Third, I think sometimes I am a baby hog. This time when I am away will be good for you and your dad to bond. Last, maybe I need some time away. I hate to say it cause I love you so much, but a breather from babytime is a good thing once in a while. And it just makes seeing you again so much more of a cherrished moment. I can handle 8 hours, 1 day a week away from you - but just barely. This is why you had to learn to take a bottle, and you do very well with one. So, on December 2nd, I went back to work and you stayed home with your dad. We will be doing this, for now, every Tuesday evening. Your dad did wonderfully well taking care of you - I had no doubt - and I felt good being back at work. It's a good compromise. I can do everything I want to do for my family and most importantly, be with you.

About your Dad. He is now a pro. It has not taken him very long at all to learn the basics of baby. He changes diapers at the speed of lightning - a little heavy on the Desitin - but we can never say your dad isn't trying to protect you from all that may harm you, including diaper rash. And at least he does it. Most dads/men try to stay away from diapers. You and your dad still enjoy hours and hours of "changing table time". He lays you on the changing pad and you come alive. You talk, and coo, and smile, and kick while he reads to you, talks to you, sings to you, does exercises with your arms and legs... He loves you so much Madeline, and you truly love him. You really are a "Daddy's girl".

I look at him in awe on a regular basis. I knew when I married him that he was special... that I was lucky. I never imagined that my love for him would be as huge as it is. It just grows more and more every day. To see him with you makes it even more immense. I want that for you. I want you to have a relationship with your future husband like your dad and I have. We will try our best to teach you how to find that special person. Someone like your dad.

This year, and hopefully for years to come, we spent Thanksgiving with our friends Misty, Michael and Brooke.

They are like our family out here. They are easy people to like. Very kind and happy. We split the food duties and gathered at their house this year. It turned out great and it was a lot of fun. It made it a little less hard to be away from our New York and Utah families.

You and Brooke are the most adorable baby models ever.

Sharing your life and your happiness with other people is very important Madeline. I believe that to be a friend to someone and to be kind and giving, is one of the purposes of our lives. It is also important to surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be like and that you admire, who make you happy. If you are ever around someone who regularly makes you unhappy, who is mean and selfish, you need to get away from them. It's that simple.

Thanksgiving weekend we bought our first BIG Christmas tree.

#1 Kitty's ornament, #2 The Tree, #3 Madeline's ornament



Previously, your dad and I had a 3-footer, which we still have and have given to Kitty who regularly attacks it and tips it over, but it was time for an adult tree, a 7.5-footer. This Christmas is full of firsts for our family. It's the first Christmas with you, in our house, and with Kitty (Last year she stayed at Petsmart while we travelled). I am so excited to create traditions and memories with you. Hopefully you will have fond memories of your childhood - of these special times during the holidays and of those regular everyday times.

I love you!

Love,

Momma