Madeline's Monthly Message: Month 10

Dear Madeline, Baby, you made it to the double digits! Woo Hoo!! You are now a 10-month-old. Life with a 9-month-old has been an adventure to say the very least. In the past month you have grown physically and mentally in such a rapid way I feel like Captain Jean Luke Picard in warp speed. Only what I'd like to do, as Captain, is tell Jordy Laforge and Commander Data to please take a little longer fixing the hyperdrive next time it breaks.

You also have this perfect little personality with your own ideas, your own likes, and your very loud and obvious dislikes.

I think your schedule changes every month now. You were taking a nap every day at 11:30 am and then again later around 3:00 pm, but now to go to bed later and sleep in a little bit so your nap is later. This means lunch is later, so you aren't always hungry when your Dad and I eat dinner, which is okay. I have to admit, I love nap time. I love the fact that you are so extremely tired yet you don't want to stop playing so you fight it. I set you in your crib each day around the same time, and you cry and look at me like I am the most thoughtless person in existence, and then like 2 minutes later you roll over and are out for at least an hour. I am so entertained by this.

You crawl. I mean REALLY crawl now. No two scoot and then plop on the bum, you go long distances and you can get at whatever you want to get at now. You also love to walk, with assistance - but not for long I bet (the assistance part). In fact, all you really ever want to do is walk. You love it.

Your Dada (and anyone else you can get to do it) takes you walking all the time... all over the house, all over the airport, all over your grandma's house... he has some pretty bad back pain because of it and no matter how many times I tell him it's okay to sit down or do something else with you, he keeps on walking. I think he feels like he is obligated to do it. He's a really good Dad.

You can also pull yourself up on anything. I find you standing in some strange places all of the sudden and wonder how in the world you got that way. You are a speed demon in that walker of yours and poor kitty is learning that she can no longer wait to move like she used to be able to.

The other day I left you in your room in your super playard XT and Kitty decided to jump in with you to sit and just be. All the sudden I hear this big boom and kitty comes running out of the room. I freaked, went running into your room and you were sitting there in the crawl position with this big grin on your face, all la-dee-da like, and kitty was limping toward me... past me.... and ploppled onto the tile. I think you got her. I checked her out and she was fine, but MAN I think she learned a lesson.

I made a mistake and let you walk in your walker on the tile with no shoes on. The tile is a little uneven in some places... I've tripped many times, I don't know what I was thinking. I suddenly noticed a few streaks of blood all over the tile... it was like horror film - maybe not that bad, but that's how I felt. When I realized it was your little big toe and that it had been skinned on the top a little bit, I wanted to hurl myself against the wall for being such an idiot. First aid on the little big toe was rough... you do NOT like to be restrained in any way so it was hard. Your dad had to hold you down while I cleaned it and held pressure to stop the bleeding and then apply baby neosporin and a bandaid.

Pain. There is pain all over the place. You, kitty, Daddy, me - just cause I am a klutz and can't seem to avoid running into things - Lots of bruises and bumps from learning to move. I try so hard to prevent these things from happening but it seems like no matter what I do it STILL happens. I hate it!!

You clap your hands now a lot. It's the cutest thing ever. Everything about you is cute. And it's not just me who thinks so. Everyone thinks it. Me, your Dad, your Grandma's, your cousins, Aunts, Uncles, friends, even strangers. You also wave your hands in the air like a rapper who "puts his hands in the air, and waves 'em like he just don't care". You do it when I play rap or hip hop on the radio. We listen to the radio sometimes in the morning when we are eating breakfast.

I try to keep you entertained and busy. Sometimes, when all hope is lost for you to sit quietly for a minute, we pop in your favorite movie - Elmo's sing-a-long songs Top Ten Countdown. You are mezmerized by this movie. You love the songs they sing and the puppet Sesame Street characters, and it buys us a minute or two to accomplish something. It's not like I let you watch TV all day. That's like the only show you watch.

Yesterday me and Brooke's momma thought it would be fun if you and Brooke tried out fingerpainting. I laid out a sheet on the carpet in your room and an old surgical gown I had upstairs (they're waterproof and sometimes if things are opened but not used we can take them home and use them because they would have just been thrown away anyway - they're good for painting) and then I filled a couple bowls with water and we laid out some fingerpainting paper. You and Brooke were dressed in painting attire - you just a diaper, Brooke and old onsie - and you went at it. You both had absolutely NO interest in painting. You wanted to splash in the water, dump it out, crinkle and eat the paper... it was a disaster really and probably only lasted about 5 minutes before you were in the tub and we were cleaning up. Maybe we'll try that again when you are a little bit older.

You are eating well. You finally like chicken, sometimes. You get a lovely array of fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, cheerioes, oatmeal, rice, bread... you love to feed yourself finger foods. You still have no interest in using utensils or dishes. They usually end up on the floor. You still nurse. You've stopped biting me -Yay for the nips!

Speaking of biting, you have TWO new teeth. They appeared to be pressing on the gums for a couple weeks and then on July 1st, 2009 we woke up to two HUGE teeth in the center of your top gums. They are SO unbelievably adorable I can hardly see straight. What makes them even more adorable, if it were even possible, is this cheezy grin you do. It is the cutest most... wait... I can't breathe, you are just too cute Madeline. You grind your teeth sometimes though, which is something we are trying to get over. I know they're new and different and exciting. I can only imagine what you must be thinking when you feel your bottom tooth clicking against your top teeth, "What in the world is that? It makes such a fun noise grind grind grind".

You like to share your food with me sometimes. I think you like the fact that sometimes we are eating the same food now. Unfortunately, I caved a couple times this month and gave you... JUNK food. You had two fries, part of a cookie, a tiny bite of icecream... the cookie was not anyone's fault. Your Dad was holding you while he was eating a cookie your Aunt Kristine made, and your little hand grabbed that cookie and shoved it in your mouth so fast... we were all really surprised and had to laugh. When you see something you want there is nothing that can get in your way, nothing I tell you!

If it were even possible, your relationship with your Dad has grown even more powerful. You LOVE him so much. When your Dada get's home from work, when you hear the beep of the door as he enters and I say, "Oh! Who is that? Is it Dada? Dada's home Madeline, Dada's home!!!", your entire little body stiffens. You frantically flap and wave ONLY your hands up and down and all around and you get this look on your face... your eyes get huge, you smile, you squeak, you look like your little tiny body cannot contain the immense excitement within and you are about to begin convulsing and then may explode if your Dad doesn't pick you up immediately.

This past week, June 29th - July 6th, you and me and your dad flew to Utah, where I grew up, to spend some time with my side of the family for the Fourth of July holiday.

They haven't seen you since you were 2 months old and you and me flew home for my Grandma Vivi's funeral, so they were in for a real treat. We had so much fun seeing everyone. You had a bit of stranger anxiety and it hurt me a little to see that you didn't know the people I have known and loved my whole life. I want you to know and love my family... especially my mother. She is such an amazing angel of a woman with so much knowledge and love to share. I know that when you are older you will understand and know her as best you can, but it reminded me of the one reason being so far from home ISN'T the best thing. I hope and pray and beg you don't move away from me when you are older. I know that's too much to ask, and that you will live your life and go where your path takes you... but a momma can hope.

It was a great trip. You had a great time with all your cousins. You were very busy every day. You got a ton of attention and loved every minute of it. Travelling has it's ups and downs and we had our ups and downs... you were teething, airports suck, your schedule was WAY off, your diet was WAY off, the stupid airport security lady took your Cetaphil lotion because it, being 4 ounces, exceeded the 3.4 ounces limit on liquid items... but you were surrounded by people who wanted to hold you and kiss you and hug you and make you laugh and smile constantly, you got to see fireworks and taste barebeque chicken, stay up late, and play, play, play with new toys and cousins and walk, walk, walk. I think you had fun.

It was on the first flight toward Utah that we discovered something new that makes you laugh. You were being fussy on the plane and your dad coughed. You laughed. So, he coughed again. You laughed again... this amazingly cute chortle. He did a fake sneeze, a fake cough... for the last 20 minutes of the flight you laughed your heart out as your dad fake coughed and sneezed. People from all over the plane were turning and leaning toward us and laughing and smiling along with you... I couldn't stop laughing myself, it was hilarious!! You can fake cough too! So now, if you are sad, we fake cough. It always cheers you up. And if Dada or Momma cough or sneeze for real? That's pretty funny too.

You still love to be read to. Your favorites books are "A Fly Went By" By Mike McClintock (a Dr. Suess), "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish", "Love You Forever", and this nursery rhyme book we got you a while ago. Me and your Dad could probably quote those first two books word for word. In fact, there are times we do quote them. I could say something like, "Babe, will you get me a dish out of the cupboard?" And your Dad would come back with something like, "If you wish to wish a wish, then make a wish on my ish wish dish."

You are such a happy baby Madeline. Your main goal each day is to be happy. Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired, cuddle, play, walk, talk... these things make you happy. You have made our lives so much happier.

In two months you will be one. In two months, I, Edith Ann, will have a one-year-old. It has gone by so fast. You are growing up so fast. Please know, I will try my best to make sure that as you grow, you are as happy as possible. I want you to look back on your childhood with memories of nothing but real, joyful, genuine times with your family and friends that you will always cherrish. You deserve that. Every child deserves that, but especially you.

Love,
Momma

Home For The Holiday

We are excited! We get to come home to Utah for a week during the Fourth of July holiday.

Growing up, the Fourth of July was one of my FAVORITE times of year. Every year when when we were kids we would have a big barbeque/party with the J's, the other family next door to them (why I can't remember their name is driving me crazy), and sometimes the J's cousins from California, the Simmons.

This is a time in my life where just thinking about it I can still remember how things looked, smelled, sounded and felt.

I can feel and smell the fresh green grass, laying on warm sidewalks in my swimsuit after running through the sprinklers, biting into some juicy, cold watermelon, feeling the surge of excitement when the water balloon fight started, fetching Lynn a beer out of the fridge, sitting in the shade, running and playing tag, laughing, smelling and eating the hamburgers & hot dogs, watching my brothers making bombs out of flower fireworks and electrical tape and making the neighbor kid stand on a bucket they had placed over a lit one, watching in awe as those never ending snakes (the firework) kept growing out of the ground or when those chinese panda houses (the firework) popped up, spelling my name in the air with a sparkler and hearing the fizz fizzle sound it made when it was done and I threw it in the bucket of water, doing cartwheels and hand stands on the grass and feeling the blood rush to my head while I was up-side-down, walking to Joel P. Jensen as a huge group to sit on the grass and watch the city fireworks, cuddling with my mom in my PJ's as we all ooe'd and awe'd at the beautiful sparkling colors in the sky, and then walking home tired and pooped from the best, day, EVER.

Yeah - times have changed, people have grown and moved on. They now have their own families and traditions... but I'll never forget this time in my life. I am so excited to see my family again.

Playing In The Gutter

Last night it was raining pretty hard when I got off work. I've had a passion for the rain my whole life. I've never thought of it as scary. I love the dark clouds, the booming thunder, the crisp, clean smell. I know rain and rainstorms have caused millions of people heartache and loss, but it also brings life to plants, animals, and people. It helps new blossoms grow, washes away old dirt, gives dramatic people something to stare at when they're being sad and sitting in a window sill looking outside as the rain pours down and Everybody Hurts by REM plays on the radio in the background.

So it kept raining when I got home. Paul and Mads were in a deep slumber and as I layed there in bed I immediately had this vivid memory of when I was younger.

My neighborhood was a pretty great place to grow up. Everyone knew almost everyone else. There were a lot of kids to play with. You could go next door and borrow an egg or some sugar for your mom and no one would give it a second thought. Most families looked out for each other. Moms would call other moms if they saw their little ones being naughty. Some moms would even take it into their own hands and discipline your child for you - if someone did that now-a-days they'd be sued and sent to prison.

One thing about my street in particular that we had fun with during rainstorms was the gutters. Whenever it would rain really hard the gutters would fill to the brim with water. At the end of the street was this large cemented area where all the water would meet and make a pool. One of the funnest things I ever remember doing was taking off my shoes and splashing my little heart out in the gutter. I'd start at my house and SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH all the way down to the pooled area. Then the real stomping would begin, and usually end with us rolling around in the pool of water as we attempted to swim in it.

All I remember is the pure joy of it. No concern of germs or toxic chemicals. No worry that I would ruin my clothes or that my hair or make-up would get messed up. When was the last time you had PURE, uncomplicated joy over something as simple as a pool of water in the gutter? Life is more than stressful worries and work, work, work.

I won't be letting Mads play in the gutter. Every yard in our neighborhood has some type of chemical treatment on their lawn. There is garbage in the gutter occassionally. Pee. Poo. Who knows... it just isn't happening. I am going to try my best though to provide her with those moments of pure joy so she can look back and remember the perfect time of childhood, and we WILL be dancing in the rain.

Not For The FAINT of Heart

Today I am finally going to the dentist to get that crack I have in my tooth taken care of, among a few other uncomfortable things. I'm a bit weary about having a lot of work done at the dentist because of some past experiences I've had.

The last time I had some major work done at the dentist was about 4 years ago when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. At that time they put me to sleep and I woke up in the car attempting to eat a vanilla shake the dentist's office had given us a free coupon for - since after you have your wisdom teeth out all you can have at first is soft/liquid-type foods. I just remember it dribbling and drooling down my chin. That time was fine cause Paul was there with me and I trusted he would take care of me in my delicate conscious state, and he did.

The time before that was when I was still living in Utah and single. I had a job and my own insurance and I needed a couple of root canals done - coincidence that the tooth I am having worked on today, the one that cracked, is the very same tooth I had a root canal on - so I went in, ALONE, to get it taken care of.

I was on my back, getting stabbed with a needle and torchered for several hours, and when it was all over I got up and walked out to the waiting room and up to the desk to pay my bill. All I remember after that is grabbing the counter and then all the sudden I woke up and there were like 8 people huddled around me as I peered up to them from the floor.

I had fainted. I guess being on my back for that long and losing some blood and then getting up so fast and not taking a moment to let the blood flow resume in it's natural direction had an effect. I had this HUGE bruise and some large scrapes all the way down my arm because I tried to hold onto the counter when I fell. Of course I had a headache from hitting the thinly covered concrete floor. So I called home and thankfully at the time my sister Heidi was there and was able to come and get me.

There have been only 2 other times in my life that I have fainted.

When I was younger - not sure what age but I was in Junior high school - I stayed home from school one day because I was "sick". I say "sick" in parentheses because I felt a little sick, I think I had a cold and a small stomach ache, but probably not sick enough to stay home - at least I thought. My real reason for staying home was because it was my mom's birthday that day and I wanted to surprise her with a birthday card - a noble and reasonable excuse to miss a day of school. My plan was to ride my bike down to the grocery store, buy a card, and ride my bike home.

We had ridden our bikes many times to the store of many names (Safeway, Macy's... I can't remember what else) so it wasn't an unusual trek. My little sister Amber accompanied me. It was a fun adventure. When we arrived we got the card and got in line pretty quick. It was my turn to pay and the cashier was making small talk,

Cashier: "Ohhh, it's your mom's birthday?"

Me: "Uh huh."

Chashier: "...and you're getting her a card?"

Me: "Uh huh."

Cashier: "How Nice. So how old is she?"

Me: "Uh huh."

BAM! I go falling into the metal poles they have separated the isles and bash my chin, which causes my tooth to go into my upper lip.

All I remember hearing is my little sister screaming "EEEEDIIIIITH!!!" and crying her head off. Can you imagine how scary it would be to be a child and have your older sister - the only person you know that is bigger than you and makes you feel safe - faint and bash their face in? Of course there was blood. She must have been thinking I was going to die or something. I woke up to someone dragging me over to a nearby table and chairs and sitting me down. They ran and got me a cup of ice and water and told me to relax, which a did for a few minutes, but I was intent on getting back home so I could get my mom's birthday surprise ready. You have to have priorities. So we rode our bikes home and life went on.

The other time I fainted was in high school during a choir concert. I was on my period (I'm not gonna hide my reasons, get over it, girls have periods). When I was younger my periods were REALLY BAD. The pain I felt during the first day of my "time of the month" was equal to the intensity of pain the contractions during the birth of my sweet baby girl, Madeline, were . This is no exaggeration. Someone always told me that in a way my cramps were good because they were preparing me for having children - Boy were they ever right on the money with that statement!!

So, I was lightheaded from blood loss, I was in severe pain, I was out of Midol, and we had a concert to do, dammit! So we're standing there, singing our hearts out, I'm in pain but this isn't anything new... I guess just standing in one position for a long time and being in the condition I was in was enough for my body to decide it wanted to rest so.... out I went. It was only for a few seconds, and most of my co-student choir people didn't even know it happened because someone helped me go sit down for a minute and was fine after.

I'm a tiny bit nervous about today... Phew! Okay... let's do this! Breathe. Sit up. Don't faint. Life wil go on.

I Got A Job!

I graduate from college in 2 weeks and have been applying at hospitals all over the Memphis area in hopes that I would find the right position and place for me as I begin my nursing career.

Of the 7 - yes 7 - hospitals I applied to, 4 actually replied to my online application in a timely manner, and I was able to visit these hospitals and begin the interviewing process.

My interest in the nursing profession started a long time ago. I have always been interested in working in the medical field. When I was a kid I wanted to be a dermatologist then a veterinarian, and finally a "woman" doctor. My passion for a social life in high school severely affected my grades and I barely graduated high school with the required 2.6 GPA (I think that was the cut off point, I really don't remember). After high school, I blindly attended a community college - still searching for a social life and a "man" to marry - with no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The idea of nursing crossed my mind, but discouraging words, rumors that the waiting list for nursing school was too long, and a lack of motivation because - remember, my number one priority was finding a man - temporarily stunted that dream.

So I spent a couple of years, and thousands of dollars I did not have, taking dance classes, failing math classes (only because I didn't do the homework - oh and by the way when I went back to school here in Tennessee I kept a 4.0 up until nursing school) and basically WAITING for something to happen in my life. Not that it wasn't fun, but I wasn't going anywhere when everyone around me was moving on - very depressing.

I eventually stopped spending money on schooling that wasn't going anywhere and that wasn't doing anything but putting me further in debt. I got a job doing customer service for "internet on your TV" and then later for Hunter Douglas taking orders for window treatments from dealers. I loved my jobs but I was still sinking slowly into debt as I would spend money I did not have on an attempt to look better (I had way too many shoes at this time in my life).

***Credit cards in the hands of young, impressionable women who were never taught how to budget or be financially stable are a dangerous thing my friends***

I finally found my soulmate in the oddest place imaginable - the Internet. It was very unplanned and unexpected. My husband Paul is one of the most "together," smart, and spiritually "in tune" people I have ever met. The life that we are making together is one of which I have always dreamed. This oneness of purpose is something that I have never experienced, and I am certain that it is rare. I have been blessed beyond my ability to fathom, and I realize this every day of my life. I know that we were made for one another.

In the 5 years we have been married, I have grown in many ways. I have learned much about who I am and what I want in my life... what kind of person I want to be. It took me a while, but I feel like I actually know who I am. Among the many opportunities I have had since my marriage, I was given the chance to go back to school and do something with my life!

I ate up everything I was learning. I LOVED math. I LOVED English, Sociology, Art History, Nutrition, Anatomy and physiology, Chemistry, and even Microbiology! It was almost as if my brain had been starving for 24 years and had finally discovered a smorgusborg of knowledge. It was divine!

Now, here I sit, about to graduate from college with my Bachelors degree in Nursing. It is a proud day in my life. A monumental day.

After much contemplation, consideration, and deep and serious thought, today I accepted a job at a great hospital here in Memphis as a perioperative nurse. I start May 21st, and will have 8-9 months of orientation and training learning everything about perioperative nursing.

It was a big decision for me, and it took a long time. I was actually offered 3 jobs - all of which were amazing - but I picked the one that I felt the best about.

In the end, if you follow your gut feelings about something, you will never fail. I love my life.

"It"

Sunday is my birthday (I will be 29) and "it" is finally happening. "It?" What is this "it" I speak of???? Well let me tell you...

Next Tuesday, April 10th, Paul and I are finally going to see Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance. I am so excited!!!!!

Why Are Thier Butts Stuck Together? Ohhh....

I love this time of year in Tennessee because it's not too cold out, but it's not too hot; the birds are chirping at all hours of the day (which can be annoying if you are trying to get some sleep because you have somewhere important to be the next day, but otherwise it is a pleasant and Disney-fantasy-land like experience); and the sunsets and sunrises are unbelievable!

Our apartment complex, in the 3.5 years we have lived here, has gone down the tubes a bit (my car was broken into last April, and in the last month we have received 1 notices of other cars being broken into and 1 notice that a tenant was robbed and harmed in the process and to "be careful and cautious"), but one thing that I love about this place is the trees that surround the complex. They go all the way around, and they are on each side of the road so it's almost like driving, or walking, through a tunnel of flowers in some areas - I love it! It just gets my "Mmm-Ahhh-nature" juices going.

So, today after class I took a moment to get some snapshots of the trees cause they're pretty and it makes me happy.

See how pretty? (click picture for a closer look)

Well, apparently it is mating season for bugs here, specifically mosquitoes, because as soon as I stepped onto the grass to get a close up picture of some tree blossoms a vast multitude of mosquitoes with their butts stuck together exploded out of the grass and enveloped me.

I had disturbed the ultimate mosquito orgy. Yes, I feel gross and itchy now.

This is NOT the first time I have disturbed a mosquito meeting of merrymaking, oh no. As a child I used to go up to Wilderness Girls Camp each year with my church group. We had so much fun during those camping trips. Great memories! One year, we got our tents all set up and then either had to go to a camp meeting or decided to go on a hike (I don't quite remember), and when we got back our tent was filled with what seemed like hundreds of mosquitoes with their butts together!! It was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen.

If you to want to see what moquitoes look like when they mate, click here. Go ahead, no one's lookin', and I promise not to tell that you like bug porn.

Some little known facts about mosquitoes...
- Did you know that only FEMALE mosquitoes bite?

- Did you know that Mosquitoes are more attracted to you if you have just eaten a banana?
- Did you know I had a patient the other day named "Chiquita" and all day I called her "Chiquita banana," when I wasn't in the room, and it was a party?

Lessons of the day - check for mosquito orgies before you sit or step on grass - especially if you live in a highly mosquito populated area - and don't name your child Chiquita.