I Can't Believe I'm Not Better.

You totally thought "I can't believe it's not butter" when you read that title, didn't you?

I have officially joined the "has a blog but never writes in it" club and I am ashamed of myself.  So much has happened in our lives in the last year and I have not been very good about writing anything down.  All I can do is start anew, SO! I plan on posting something every day.  This blog may become more of a journal.  But like exercise, it's time to make it a priority.  How many times have I said this? How many times have I made this promise to myself?  Who cares! Today is a new day with a new goal.
Through pictures, I am going to try to remember what we did on our repat vacation and back track a little.  While doing that, I'm going to write about our current days.  Should be exciting, entertaining? Maybe. Maybe not.  I do this for me, my girls, my family, and my friends.

08.11.11

 Today is our Saturday. We started the morning with some oatmeal and fruit.  Paul got back from the gym and was ready to eat right as I was putting the food in the bowls... like a 50's TV show, I was totally the perfect wife.  Madeline loves oatmeal. Ever since I started giving it to her she likes to put sprinkles on it.  She has come a long way from pouring the whole container in the bowl to doing three sprinkles of each of the 6 colors.  So proud of my girl.  This morning Abigail had some apple sauce mixed with milk (mine) and some whole grain rice cereal. She is doing really well with eating so far.  Hasn't liked much of what I've given her, but still tries it and hasn't locked her jaw shut completely yet. 

 After breakfast I got the girls ready and got a shopping list together. Paul does all our grocery shopping on Thursday mornings for a couple of reasons: 1. I don't really trust the girls with a baby sitter just yet so getting a driver and going myself during the week would be quite an adventure.  It's hot. I don't trust people I don't know. 2. Paul thinks it's just faster for him to go early Thursday morning without me or the girls - for the very same reason.  As long as I write a good grocery list he does a pretty good job.  I try not to pick and complain when he gets home. It has been hard for me to let him do the shopping.  Sometimes he doesn't understand what I mean so the grocery list is quite hilarious with things written on it such as, "cheese - not velveeta or kraft, the real, natural block of cheddar" or "6 bananas - slightly green/yellow with as little bruises as possible."  It's more like writing a novel than writing a grocery list, but it helps. I am thankful for such a loving, helpful husband. He really does a lot and takes great care of us. 

While Paul did the shopping, I got the girls ready and cleaned up the house a bit.  I don't have cleaning help on the weekends (poor me) so I do the cleaning.  It's nice actually. I don't mind it.  It keeps me humble.  Also, for some reason I really like vacuuming our one rug and I love the look of freshly cleaned glass.  I know, I'm nuts. 
When Paul got home, his last package from Aramex had arrived with computer parts, so he started to put together his computer.  He built our other computer - he's really good at stuff like that.  Madeline was really interested in helping him, so he tried to show her a few things and let her help him sort stuff.  Then he realized he was missing a part of the mother board (possible left in NY or sent back with a previous case that was too small, so he returned it).  That, along with all the tiny screws and Madeline all over the place sort of contributed to as loss of patience.  He ended up having to call and order a new part so computer building is on hiatus for now. 

Madeline and I did a glitter craft with glue and colored a bit.  We played in her play room a while.  Abigail did some playing and some sleeping during the day.  She is doing really well with sitting up now.  She loves attention and gets upset when we leave her alone.  I am trying to get her to crawl, but she ends up just rolling all over the house.  I find her in the funniest places if I leave her for a minute.  So, she's not crawling, but she is moving!

It was a pretty laid back day.  Paul was feeling ill so he napped a little. We watched some movies. We danced to some music.  We ended the evening with some steak, rice, and salad and then watched a movie documentary called Babies. It was interesting.  The girls are still sleeping with us. It's crowded in our huge (TINY) king-sized bed.  Madeline is still coughing at night and wakes up asking for water. She is holding on to some snot and spit from her cold a few weeks ago.  I am teaching her to spit out the "ickys," so I find gobs of spit in fun places. 

I ended the evening staying up too late reading.  I am currently reading "The Help" by Katheryn Stockett - a popular movie out in theatres right now.  It's a great book.  I look forward to eventually seeing the movie.

08.10.11

 

Today was a really fun day.  The girls and I woke up at a pretty reasonable time. I woke up earlier to prepare some things for this evening - we had some friends over for dinner. I felt pretty cool marinating fruit and candying my own almonds for a salad. When it comes to cooking I have loooooooooong way to go.  I used to think I was a great cook, but it turns out it was my mom.  My mom made it look so simple when I was growing up.  It's not simple.  But with the gift of opportunity here in Saudi (to be a mother and wife) cooking has become a new wishful hobby of mine.

Today was the first time we actually got out of the house and saw some friends since we returned from repat vacation. We went to an art playgroup at our next door neighbor's house.  We've lived here over a year now and I really haven't spent a lot of time with our neighbor.  She has two little kids near Madeline's age, a boy and a girl, and they are very kind and friendly.  After today, I am going to make it a point to be in better communication with her. 

It turned out really nice. Only two other moms, besides myself, showed up. We had a good time talking while the kids played, ate, and made a glittler craft.  Madeline is a glitter/glue pro and it is our new favorite craft.

After the craft the girls and I came home for lunch. We did some dancing and listened to some music while I made lunch and then after we ate, we watched a movie and played with some toys.  I didn't take any pictures today, which really erks me! It would have been a great picture day.

I spent the rest of the afternoon, inbetween playing with and taking care of the girls, getting ready for our friends to come over for dinner.  I planned to make a breaded baked chicken, red potatoes, garlic bread, and a strawberry/pear/almond/celery/green onion... etc. etc. salad.  It turned out okay.  The chicken didn't crisp because I was distracted when I put it in, but Paul said it was cooked right (not too dry like I usually do it out of fear of bloody veins and e. coli.

Paul got home around his usual time and played with the girls while I continued getting things ready.  Our friends started arriving around 5:45 pm.  We have some really good friends here in Saudi.  People who are laid back, friendly, genuine, and fun.  Part of my goal for this year is to be more social.  I am not what you would call a anti-social, but we aren't anxious to party every weekend.  We enjoy our friends and family, but the every day's of life with the girls keep us pretty busy.  That and being in the nursing stage with Abigail pretty much limits what we can and cannot do.  I don't feel too great about leaving the girls with anyone anyway unless I really know and trust them.  Eventually we will look into the baby sitter thing so Paul and I can do a date night or something.  ANYWAY, there are some great people here to hang out with including our friends Fiona and Jeff, their son Benjy, and another friend Travis - whose cute little family is out of town right now. 

Dinner was nice. The conversation was good.  I love feeling at ease and comfortable.  Little Benjy brought me some very pretty flowers as a gift.  We stayed at the table pretty much all night talking and eating.  We're all planning on going on a trip together this fall so we had a little pow wow about that.  Madeline was so excited to see Benjy.  They've been friends a while now and she has missed him this summer, being away on repat.  She includes him in her list of names whenever she talks about cousins.  I think she overwhelmed him a little. There were several times he ran quickly to his chair between his parents to get away from her. He also kept telling he needed some space. 

It was a good time with great friends. 

Sweet Slumber



A lovely, peaceful, sweet moment.

 Both of my girls are acrobatic sleepers. They cannot be comfortable if they are not horizontal to the natural design of the bed. Also, it really helps them if they have a back they can kick their feet into. 

But... there are those moments - lovely, peaceful, sweet moments.

The Purpose of Life

"I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”


- Dalai Lama

My Fascinating Fascinator

A couple of the lovely ladies I have become friends with here in Saudi decided to throw a royal wedding tea party this past Friday to watch the wedding of Prince William to the lovely Kate Middleton.

It was so much fun to sit with all of those fun people while snacking on delicious treats and drinking tea to watch the wedding. We also had a great time talking about our own weddings and spouses.

For the engagement we were all asked to arrive in "regal attire."  I was going to just wear one of Madeline's princess crowns, but I did a little research online and saw a ton of pictures of women with those funny hats on their heads. Apparently these are known as "fascinators." So, I decided to throw together my very own fascinator with some tissue paper and some beads and wire. I just attached it to a headband I had and voila! A fascinator fit for royalty.

Of course, mine was nothing compared to Princess Beatrices fascinator.  I guess I know what to shoot for when Prince Harry finally ties the knot!

Uno! Dos! Tres! Cuatro!

Our little Abigail is 4 months old already!

She is such a good baby - so mellow, laid back, and happy. She loves to be held, loves hugs and kisses (especially from her sister), and smiles at almost anyone who smiles at her.  She is very aware of her surroundings and interested in whatever is going on. She loves to chew on everything and has been grabbing at everything she can get her hands on for several weeks now. She holds her head up well now and rolls all over the place. She is even starting to try to crawl, but her arms aren't quite strong enough. Abigail loves music, and loves to be sung to. She laughs at peek-a-boo and when we make funny noises. She recognizes her daddy's voice and gets excited when he comes home from work.  Her most favorite person is her sister. She loves to watch Madeline dance and play and she coos and giggles whenever Madeline talks to her or plays with her.  She is a perfect fit to our family and we love her SO much!

Necktarines

Ever since Madeline was a wee little babe, I have been nibbling and kissing on her.  As a parent of beautiful and healthy chubby babies, I have truly enjoyed their deliciousness.  I love how their little arms and legs look like they have rubber bands on them... and lets face it: chubby knees! Hello! How can a person resist chubby knees on a baby? And those toes! Those toes that look like they aren't really a part of the foot and as if you could just pluck them off like a grape. 

For fun, and as a way to make my girls giggle in anticipation of being nibbled and ticked on, I gave each scrumptious little part a name; a name that referred to a food.

Food = Delicious = My little babies... you get it. 

Necktarines = That little neck - the one that seems to go deeper than a mine.  The one that is almost impossible to get completely clean. I think I found a boot in Abigails neck the other day.

Corn on the cob = the arm.  I like to nibble up and down the arm as if I am eating some corn on the cob. I say, "Can mommy have some corn on the cob?" and they giggle and giggle.

Peach cobbler = peach pit = armpit (it's a stretch but you get it).

Orange slice = naval (naval oranges)

Turkey leg = the upper leg or thigh area = chub central! I love it!

Cherry toe-ma-toes = toes. The word "toe" is (sort of) in their twice people. It just made sense.

Anyway, so the other day I asked Madeline if I could have some corn on the cob, and I grabbed her arm and began to chomp - our normal routine.  And instead of giggles and squirming with excitement she pulled her arm away and she said,

"I'm NOT food mom!"

I was stunned. shocked.  startled... and then? Sad.  My little girl is growing up. 

Thank God for Abigail.  And then when she grows up?
Well, I guess I will just have to keep having babies forever and ever. Or maybe that's what GRANDbabies are for. 

Wait.  I just realized something.
I am raising my children in a different country than the one I grew up in.  They are being exposed to the WORLD and all kinds of people. As we begin travelling more they are being exposed to all kinds of places.  A smart person can only deduce from this that the likelihood of my children living close enough to me for me to have regular access to their children to nibble on is UNlikely or a very low percentage.  Do you realize what this means???!!! We need to buy a jet.

Update On Our Dear Abby

May 1st Abigail will already be 4 months old.  The time has gone by so ridiculously fast, and as it was with Madeline, it feels like Abigail has always been here with us. She totally belongs here and fits in so well with our little family. 
Abs currently wears anywhere from a size 6 month to a size 12 month in clothing - depending on the brand - and most people are quite surprised at her age when I tell them.  They always assume she is older.  Both of my babies were healthy, chubby babies and both of them have been very good at nursing. This is a true blessing in my life!  I know some mothers have a difficult time nursing and it has always been so easy and wonderful for me and my girls. 

Abigail can hold her head up very well now.  She absolutely LOVES tummy time.  Madeline never liked tummy time and would not spend more than a second or two on her tummy before screaming like I was torturing her.  Abigail on the other hand wants to do it all day long.  She has been working at holding her head up for several weeks now. She grunts and moans and arches her little back... she wants to move SO badly. She squiggles and wiggles so much that she often scoots herself down her chair and he legs will hang off. I will be really surprised if she isn't walking at around 9-10 months. 

Abigail can roll all over the place and if I happen to leave her on her blanket during tummy time, for just a second or two, I will sometimes find her on the other side of the room.

She is also already trying to push her little bum up in the air and move her legs and crawl.  She just needs to work on her arm strength now.

Because of all the moving, Abs is on 24-hour surveillance. Someone is always watching her to make sure she isn't on her face or rolling out the door.
Abigail loves music.  Whenever we sing to her she gets the biggest smile on her face and she begins moaning along with us.  When she is sad her sister sings the ABCs or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to her and she immediately stops crying.

From birth, Abigail has been very vocal.  We have anywhere from 5 to 20 minute conversations sometimes. She just makes goo goo ga ga coo noises over and over.  Sometimes Abs will sing with Madeline or me when we sing to her.  She has a beautifully clear voice and good pitch.

Tubby time is so much fun! She kicks her little legs like crazy. The other night she was kicking so fast some water splashed in her face. At first she was startled and almost cried, but then she started giggling.

Abigail wiggled down her chair with legs hanging off.

She loves peek-a-boo and when we pull faces at her and surprise her.  She also loves to be held and will get very upset if we don't let her sit up on our lap or give her hugs and kisses.

Her sad face is the saddest face that has ever existed.  It makes me want to cry.  So we try to keep her happy!!

Abigail has recently discovered her hands and loves looking at them. She also loves playing with her little chew cow and her sheep. 

From the beginning I have felt a very close bond with Abigail Lily.  Her soul is a mature soul, and at times I feel like she totally understands what is happening around her. She always has this look on her face like she knows something I don't know.  Sometimes it freaks me out, but most of the time I just feel a sense of awesomeness for being chosen to be her mother.

I love how different my girls are and that I can still love them both so unconditionally... being a Mother to these two girls has been the biggest, most important calling and blessing in my life!

Madelinisms

Paul is sitting on a chair in our dining room holding Abigail, Madeline is standing next to him, and I am in the kitchen cleaning up dinner.  Abigail begins to cry:

Madeline - "Ohh Abigail, it's okay. Mommy is right there (pointing to me).  Yook at your mommy. She's right there. Isn't she beautiful Abigail?"
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Every morning Madeline asks me for her gummy vitamins like this:

Madeline - "May I have some gummy vitamins please yes you may thank you!"

She just has the whole conversation herself so there is no confusion as to what should happen.
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Tonight at dinner:

Madeline - "Ohh, I'm hungry Mom, so you fix me dinner, yeah, thank you!"
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When being put in time out:

Madeline - (screaming and crying) "I'm SO FYUSTRATED MOM!!"
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While opening a box full of candy and toys from her Grandma:

Madeline - "Ohhhhh, Holy cow! I yuuuuvvv candy! Yook Mom!! YOOK!!"

Happy Easter

Each of the holidays we have spent here have turned out to be pleasantly fun and meaningful.  I think people go above and beyond here when it comes to holidays in the compound because certain ones are forbidden by law from being celebrated for religious reasons.  Being forbidden to do or say something only makes one want to do it even more... strange how that works. 

So this was our first Easter here in Saudi. The entire weekend has been very fun and exciting with friends and egg hunts and craft activities and lots and lots of candy and running around until we were dead tired. It has been really wonderful.

We've also done a few things for ourselves, for our own little family. Now that Madeline is a little bit older and can understand a little bit more, the holidays have been really exciting for her.  I've tried to teach her the meaning of these religious holidays - what they are really all about - but I think this is more of an endeavor I will attempt next year because I get two seconds into an explaination and she is too busy making her toes talk to each other.

I remember in elementary school, on St. Patrick's Day, a teacher of mine once put little green footprints all over the walls and desks to make it look like a leprechaun had visited while we were away to lunch or recess.  So I took that idea and painted little rabbit paws all over our floor. 

Madeline was totally blown away, slightly concerned (that a rabbit could get in our house from the back door), and genuinely impressed with the display.

She spent a good amount of time trying to rub the footprints off the floor and seeing if she could hop in the same exact place as the bunny did. 

Mr. E. Rabbit left her some lovely Eastery shakers, some candy, and some lovely new jewelry.  He also decided to take a little taste of Kitty's food apparently. 

And then, rumor has it, he just POOF! Disappeared to go back to the forest and prepare for next year(because mommy was sick of painting feet at that point).

We actually celebrated Easter on Friday morning because that is our "Sunday" here in Saudi Arabia.  It crept up kind of fast on us.  On the real Easter, a work day for Paul and a school day for Mads, we basically had a regular day.  But every day with my cute little family is a holiday, and every day we remember those who have sacrificed so we can have a better life. Happy Easter!

 

Momma's B-Day

Today is my Momma's birthday.  How do I write what I feel about this woman?  I just don't believe there are words that can properly express the love and admiration I have for her. She is my best friend and loves me unconditionally - like a mom should love her children.  She gives the best hugs.  She always, ALWAYS knows what to say.  She is an amazing cook! She has a talent and a gift to heal others.  She is the mother of all mothers!

Happy Birthday to you Momma!  I love you forever!

Precious Rap

Whatever happened to that cat we used to have?  Oh you mean, Precious Kitty?

We still have her!

Kitty took a backseat when Madeline was born, and now that Abigail is here? Let's just say I feel awful on a regular basis for the neglect of this poor little cat.  In spite of it all, Kitty keeps active - attacking chair legs; running really fast on the wood floor in the middle of the night; hiding outside a door so she can jump out and scare the crap out of us when we leave a room; attacking toys Mads may have left out; Meowing an opera downstairs at least once a week around 3 in the morning; puking on all my rugs; hangin' in the garage on the car; hangin' in the backyard meowing at birds... she's a good kitty, and I make it a point to give her a nice scratch and a pet each night.  She always comes and sits by me whenever we are relaxing or watching a movie.  She brings a smile to our faces on a regular basis... wait. Did you just read that? 

"She brings a smile to our faces on a regular basis."  - that TOTALLY rhymes and would be awesome in a rap song. Lemme see what I can come up with off the top of my head:

K. I. T. T. uh T. T. Y.,
Kitty sits and whines at birds who fly in da sky.
She's a maniac at night when she chases her tail
Betta watch urself girl, when you jump o'er that rail. (Mee-yow!)
Don't worry 'bout dat feline, she will land on all fours
But if she don't! watch herself! she can run into doors! (Hay-ohhhh!!)
She eats like a horse, we're alwayz fillin' her bowl...
S'okay, with nine lives, livin' long is da goal!
She's hangin' like a dog, waitin' for some dropped dinner
in a race down the hall, she is always the winner
She twitches in her sleep, and makes a lot of weird noises,
Must be dreamin' 'bout the times little Mads takes her toyses.
She brings a smile to our faces
on a regula-lar basis
oh yeah we love our Kitty, Kitty, Kitty Kitty - Mee-YOW
I said, we love our kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty - Mee-yow!
K. I. T. T. uh T. T. Y.,
I said uh
K. I. T. T. uh T. T. Y.,
Hollaaaaaaa
K. I. T. T. uh T. T. Y.,
Preciousssssss (in a whisper)
Peace (Spoken while holding up the peace sign and a kitty toy).

I would totally buy that on iTunes.

Easter-a-thon

It's exciting and calming to know that you can be invited to someone's house for an Easter breakfast and be so comfortable, and have so much fun that all of the sudden it is 7:30 pm.  We are making some really amazing friends here, family, in Saudi and I just love it.

If today were to be expressed in a word collage this is what it would read like:

Good morning, sunshine, smiles, welcome, comfortable, craftiness, Nemo, happy kids, K went pee pee - Yay! Yay!, B went pee pee - Yay! Yay!, M went pee pee - Yay! Yay! Egg casserole with Jimmy Dean sausage, pancakes, fruit, blue berry danish, orange juice, cold water, my own personal tea pot with yummy vanilla tea, chatting, hugs, running in circles, keyboards, drums, puzzles, stories, trains, laughing, pictures, movies, future travel plans, window painting, egg huntin', swinging, sliding, relaxing, snacks, "Luke I am your father," cuddles & tummy time, sharing, "hi!" running, pizza, wontons, Easter baskets, smiles, thank you, hugs and goodbyes, quiet soft cool night, tubby time, stories, loves and sleep.
Some pictures from today (in no particular order because I don't want to organize them right now):


Yummy fruit tray I brought

 

K & K doing an Easter craft



The Man - he totally got into decorating his Easter craft

The kids getting ready to hunt for eggs

Sliding

J with K & M running and laughing. It was a cute moment.

Sweet T, calling for her Dada and looking adorable.

K with her Dad swinging really high and fast!

M, J, and K watching Star Wars!

A and The Man watching Star Wars

The kids swarming The Man because he had candy

Story time in the playroom

F reading to the kiddos

An EGGcellent woman and friend

Cute little rice krispy baskets with coconut grass, skittles, peanut M&Ms, and gummy worms and frogs

A delicious blueberry bread danish homemade by K

The Beginning of Something.

Everyday I check my blog to see if something new has been posted.  Nothing. What the Frederick? So I've decided to start small.  Little posts of tid bits. One EACH day.  Even if it's just a picture of something... I must do better. 

I do have something to talk about today though, so...

Today Madeline and I were invited by a new friend of ours to an Easter egg hunt activity.  I've known Jennifer about a year now. I met her when we first moved to Saudi Arabia.  She invited me to a playgroup. She was actually the first person to ever invite me to a playgroup.  I wonder if she knows that.  Now, a year later, I am this playgroup freak! She also made me bread once and it was Ca-razy good.  Anyway, I say "new friend" because, although we have known her about a year, we have really only spent a small amount of time with her and her family.  She has a daughter who is a little older than Madeline, who Mads just loves, and two sons, and a very nice husband. She is one of those people who you immediately trust. A genuine, real person, who means well, and tries to make others feel welcome and happy.  A good person. She is also a Mormon.

I don't talk much about religion on here, and I'm not going to start to get too deeply into it at this moment. That will be another time... maybe. But it does have a little bit to do with what I am writing so that is why I mentioned it. 

So I got the sweets all dolled up in her little Easter skirt and sun hat and we headed over to the activity.  When I first drove up and saw all the people sitting on a blanket near the field I glanced and saw no one I recognized.  It wasn't until I saw a familiar face that I got out of my car and headed over.  As we were walking over I did that thing I do when I am nervous sometimes - I acted like I was talking to someone when I was actually really just moving my mouth to look like I was talking to someone. Only this time I really felt like an idiot when I realized what I was doing because the only person near me was Madeline - who was busy trying to collect as many sticks off the ground as she possibly could.  I did that mouth thing in school as a child... NO idea why I thought it made me look less alone.  In retrospect, I probably looked like a psychotic loner loser as opposed to just a regular loner loser.

After some initial "who are you?" stares and some introductions to a couple of friendly folk, the festivities began. They had cute little egg-shaped, bubble necklaces for the kids and there were plastic eggs spread all over the field for them to find.  Madeline had so much fun running all over the place finding eggs to put in her basket.  And when she discovered there was CANDY in them... those eggs were cracked and eaten in less than 5 minutes.  She recognized and enjoyed playing with a couple of her little friends from playgroup and play school and seemed very at ease and comfortable. 

I love my little girl.  I love her so much, and I love watching her interact with other people socially.  She really is a sweet, friendly little twerp.  And her energy level has no limit. 
We had a good time.  It was nice.  I was glad we went, and glad Jen invited us.

It was my first actual activity with the LDS here and it, strangely, reminded me of home. Weird, considering I do not know most of the people that were there.  Yes, some looked at me funny - or was that just me and my brain being tricksy? Some came up and introduced themselves. Some faces were familiar and nice to stand next to and talk to.  But that familiar Utah feeling I sometimes had growing up, that togetherness that I haven't felt in a long time, was there, and it was nice.  How cool is that?  I remember after the activity was over, driving home and feeling almost as if I had entered a different world for an hour or so and now I was leaving it and coming back to reality.

So this activity, although small, and not a big deal to most, was a good thing.  It has made me think. Thinking is good.

The reality is – I need to make some decisions.  Decisions about a lot of things, but in particular, what I want to teach my girls about life and about God.  What kind of people I want them to be around.  It's not just ME now.  I think about it a lot, especially now that Madeline is beginning to try us and test our patience and parenting abilities on a minute to minute basis.  The people we allow her to interact with do, and will always, have an influence and effect on her and how she behaves and on the choices she makes.  I am genuinely concerned that she grow into a well adjusted, happy, successful, well rounded adult who loves her fellow man and knows what is really important in life - and it scares the crap out of me.  

So THIS is what it is to be a parent and to really love someone with every fiber of your being (as my mom always says). These little people are totally dependent on us. Is there even a word to describe how frightening that is? But at the same time, God sent these little angels to us.  He is giving us the job to raise them - so we must have done SOMETHING right and I can find peace in that.  
Every person has these thoughts and feelings at some point in their life, right?  I feel like living here, in this country where certain beliefs are forbidden to be publicized or practiced and believing in certain things can be dangerous, that  those of us living here are strongly compelled, even forced, to examine our souls and what we ourselves truly believe in - even more than a person may need to living somewhere else in the world.  I'm thankful for that.