A Sword Foot.

I have been having problems with my left foot on and off and it makes it hard to walk on sometimes. The girls like me to carry them down the stairs (a habit we are trying to break). This morning as we were walking down the stairs Madeline says,

"Mom. I know right now you can't carry me down the stairs because you have a SWORD in your foot (my foot is sore), so I will just walk slow and be really careful... okay mom, okay?"

Don't worry mom, it's real.

I over hear Mads in the playroom making fight noises...
Me: "Madeline... what's going on in here?"
Mads: "My camels are fighting."
Me: "Ohhh, but our toys don't fight remember? Because we are a family and we love each other."
Mads: "Don't worry Mom, it's real."
Me: "You mean it's pretend?"
Mads: "Oh mom, you make me laugh. You are a funny mom."

April Fools Fail

I took great care this morning cleaning out our almost empty mayonnaise jar and refilling it with some vanilla yogurt so I could rave about this new "Mayo diet craze" I had heard about on the Internet (an April fool's joke on Paul) tonight at dinner.
As I sat at our dinner table, spooning "mayo" in my mouth, and telling Paul about it - hoping for a "oh my heck! Why are you eating that?!! Gross!!" reaction - he actually began asking me questions....
"How much weight are you supposed to lose? What's in mayonnaise? I would think you'd GAIN weight on a diet like that. So you want me to buy you a bunch of mayo then?" blah blah blah derp!

Epic FAIL.

A Little Less Jiggle

Increased oxygen and burning muscles = the pleasure of warm chocolate cake, increased oxygen and burning muscles = the pleasure of warm chocolate cake... this, among many other very strange things, is what I kept telling myself this morning when I started working out again. I figure, if I can train my brain to associate the feelings I get from cake with exercise -   I am good to go!

Today I weighed myself. It has been a long time, and I won't get into it too much in this post because this is a POSITIVE post. Numbers do not matter. What matters is how I feel, right?

Why do I think I need to lose weight? (in no particular order).

• I  want to stop jiggling when I brush my teeth.
• I want to feel good about myself. I want to look in the mirror and whistle at myself every morning - not just as self encouragement, but because I am a hot chick.
• I want to wear a T-shirt without looking like I am wearing a couple of baby swim tubes underneath it.
• I am NOT Steven Tyler. To be funny... sometimes I flap my tummy fat together while singing a Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) song (For those who do not understand - he has big fat lips and I think my belly looks like big fat lips).
• "I'm tired of sweating on relatively cool days" (movie quote: Crazy People).
• I want energy!! I get tired easy. I'm 34 (April 8th) and this should not be happening yet.
• I want to be sexy... and be able to do sexy dances and wear sexy clothes... until I'm like 85. Then I might slow down.
• I'm tired of looking like the State Puff Marshmallow Man's sister.
• I'm tired of being "the fat friend." I like to make my friends feel good about themselves, but not by making myself feel bad.
• I want to be healthy.
• I deserve this!
• For my girls. The other day Madeline and I were discussing eating healthy foods so you can grow up big and strong and she said, "Yeah! Someday I want my tummy to be big and healthy like yours!!" - Heart sank right there. I am NOT being a good example.
• For my husband. He has always wanted the best for me. He takes such great care of us. He loves me so much - even when I am a monster. He deserves a hot wife.
• I look like a "tatanka" from the side. All I need is a field of grass to graze on and I could be in the remake of Dances With Wolves.
• It's the right thing to do. I have time to do it now. No excuses!

So there you have it.  Today I did 50 minutes at the gym on the elliptical, jammin' to some pretty awesome tunes.  The lady next to me kept looking at me funny because I was closing my eyes and smiling a lot.  So I looked at her and smiled and then winked and then ended with a thumbs up.  That got her to look away.

Maybe I should have done my Steven Tyler impression for her.  Next time.

STAR WARS Stuff.

Let's face it. We are Star Wars fans. This isn't something we have ever been ashamed of. We like the movies - some more than others - and we would probably do pretty well in a Star Wars trivia contest. We're not "convention" nerds, meaning we probably wouldn't go out of our way to dress up and attend any science fiction conventions - unless they were in our town or something, then we might. Or maybe in some nearby town... like no more than 100 miles away. Road trip! Woo!
I have always been a fan, but more in my later years, as I have spent time with Paul. Girls do that sometimes when they want to get a guy... they like something, like sports, more than they normally would.  It gives the perception of sexy well-roundedness. I even tried to do a yoda origami for him once. Can you guess which one I did? I didn't think so. Pretty good, right? Almost an exact replica.

Paul grew up loving Star Wars. He even knows more about the fake history of these fake characters because he read Star Wars books as a kid.  He also loves Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter, The Matrix, and The Godfather... and he has watched a romance or two with me (and enjoyed it). He's a pretty well rounded fella. We really enjoy movies in general.

So when our friends invited us to a Star Wars party we were pretty excited.  I knew right away there would probably be 20 princess leia's so I would be different and go as the only other female character, Queen Amidala (There are actually several female characters like the crazy dancing girl who gets eaten by the monster because Jaba pushed her down a hole, or that jedi lady with arms on her head, for example). I've even memorized several of her lines - Queen Amidala's (and wasn't able to use them as the opportunity did not present itself - sad). I actually tried using one of the lines during the party (NERD) and as I was saying it the person who I was talking to turned away to do something else. I stopped half sentence and ended up in one of those laughs of dorky embarrassment instead. I really am a nerd. hmph. I wonder if he would have even recognized it as a line from the movie if he had heard it?  Probably not.

Do you ever do that? Do you ever plan to say something and hope the opportunity presents itself? I can't be the only one who does this.

Paul - up until the day of the party - was going to be the evil Emporor "Paul"patine (Palpatine). We ordered a mask and a hooded cape from Amazon and had them Aramexed in. Expensive, but we felt it was worth it. The girls and I helped him for a couple weeks with a couple of the Emperors lines - even Abs was walking around the house saying, "Noo, Noooo, Noooo!!!" in an evil, gritty tone. It was awesome. But last minute, and because the mask was uncomfortable and didn't fit well, we changed his costume to Darth Paul (Darth Maul).

Can you tell which one is from the movie and which one is Paul? Pretty close eh?

In this photo I told Paul to give me a growling, evil face... it looks like he's smiling.
He can't even FAKE the dark side of the force.

Awww, Darth Paul with his daughters, Princess Madeleia and Princess Abidala.

 I painted his face and made him a two-sided, red light saber out of a mop stick, some paint, and some shiny sticky paper I had. He still used the cape and then wore my abaya and a belt as a top. He looked awesome. And I do believe he enjoyed flailing that stick about when he demonstrated to the girls how to wield a light saber.

Here I am as Amidala. I should have smiled, but in the movie, when she is all dressed up in her Queen uniform, she doesn't smile. She also talks with this weird deep voice... "I cannot condone a course of action that will lead us to war." (ha! there, I said one of my lines).

We ended up going seperately.  It worked out fine. Even with a babysitter it might have been a problem because the girls don't know anyone that well and they are both still waking up at night at least once each. It would have been cruel to put a stranger in that position - Mads having a cough attack and Abigail, who doesn't take a bottle, wanting to nurse - Ha!

Paul went first for an hour or so and then I went.  I took some Bantha Fodder (homemade granola) as a treat. There was a nice selection of food. Both our costumes were a hit and I had some nice conversations with some good friends.  I also got to spin fire.  They had a friend who plays with fire come with his fire stick and fire balls. It was fun.  Picture to come soon I hope. 

May the force be with you.

Annoying Party Moment

You accidently bump into a stranger in a crowded room and every time you see her the rest of the evening she tells people you are "the girl who touched her boob."

I can only fake laugh so many times.

Those Darn Shoes.

On our way up the stairs to bed... Madeline stops and drops to the floor.
Me: "What are you doing? Let's go. It's bedtime"
Mads: "Carry me."
Me: "Madeline, I am not going to carry you. You have two healthy, strong legs, and my arms are full." (already carrying Abs, some books, and some water).
Mads: "My legs aren't working." (Moans and fake bottom lip shaking)
Me: "Madeline... lets go. Stop playing games." (continue walking up stairs).
Mads: "aaaahhhhh... my legs! My legs! They hurt! I can't walk. Ahhh haa haaa"
Me: "Do we need to go to the hospital? Do you need surgery? Do you need... a great big shot?" (thinking this would stop the moaning).
Mads: "Yes. I need to go to the hospital. I want to be in the stroller because I can't walk..." (moaning and screaming).
Me: (fake calling the doctor on my cell, but calling Paul's cell instead) "So Dr., she will need 10 shots AND can't play outside, go to school, or go to dance class ever again? Will you tell her? K. Here's the phone Mads. It's the doctor who will do your surgery"
Mads: "Hello? Uh huh." (high pitched moan) "Oh-kay...huuh huuh... Mom. let's go."
Me: "Okay. Go upstairs and get your shoes."
Mads: (Stands up. RUNS UP THE STAIRS TO HER CLOSET to get her shoes.)
Me: (from the hallway) "HA! You CAN walk! Ha!"
Mads: (With the realization she has been caught in her lie, drops to the floor screaming in agony).

Blast From the Past: Paul + Edith 2007

I was browsing my old blog posts and came across this post from when Paul and I were living in Memphis and before we had kids.  We used to frequent Best Buy a lot as a past time. Enjoy!
http://edithannith.blogspot.com/2007/02/best-buy-blunder.html

2012 So Far: Abigail is Walking

January 2012 - just about to walk on her own

Abigail Lily has been excited about moving from the start. From birth she has particularly admired her older sister, Madeline, and her ability to dance, run, and just move in general.  From the beginning I frequently noticed her look of awe as Mads would run in circles around her during tummy time. 

 I was actually surprised it took so long, and it was a very gradual process - first standing, moving along furniture, pushing a walker and then finally that first step toward Momma - but as of January 16th, 2012, I can confidently say Abigail Lily is walking... and yes, I squealed like a pig (probably snorted too as the joy of the moment overflowed past a normal laugh).

Actually, at this point (March 3rd), she is running, climbing, and attempting small steps.  She is officially "one of the gang" when referring to our nightly jaunts around the kitchen/dining room/hallway/play room.  Who knew running in circles would be SO much fun?

Who knew having kids would be so emotionally gratifying and fulfilling?? I did. And I love it.

Ten Years Today

Ten years and still in crazy mad passionate love... That pretty much says it all.

The Flower Festival

Today was the Fifth Annual Flower Festival here on camp. It was also my Madeline's very first time walking in a parade and her very first time performing with her latin dance class on a stage! In front of PEOPLE! And she. Did. Awesome.

Abigail was up nice and early and very excited to see her sister in the parade and on stage

Madeline

Madeline in her costume for the dance.

Here is Madeline getting a healthy breakfast of fruity pebbles before we left.

Here is Madeline standing in the parade line, waiting for it to begin. They had Madeline and her class in the very front, right behind the band. The band was EXTREMELY loud.

Madeline was, still, very excited to be in the parade. She said it reminded her of the movie RIO.

The parade route was quite long, but the kids had a good time anyway.  The only real uncomfortable part of the entire thing was the shamal/sandstorm. It has been sandy for several days now and it is not nice to breath.

After the parade was over, the kids got cookies and juice - a nice break before the performance. Madeline enjoyed her cookies and sitting on this big rock.

Madeline in front of the stage

Paul keeping Abigail entertained with some tummy zerberts

The Performance (click play)

Madeline and her friend Kiersten after their dances.

What's In A Name?

What's in a name? This has been a big topic in our house the past week as our little 3 1/2 year old is showing an interest in writing! She can now write her name, and we are SO excited and proud. I love when my children accomplish something. I love it so much, I want to marry it.  I literally do the happy dance. 



Name contrasted because it was too light on the paper

Yay!!

Gunning The Drain.

I've been having some really vivid dreams lately and wanted to share a particularly funny one.  A good friend of mine, let's call her Erin, was in this dream.

Erin was giving me a tour of a mansion her and her husband had recently sold. It was gigantic, and beautiful, and very well lit.  There were mirrors everywhere and every other door in the hallway had a well dressed guard standing in front of it.  I asked her why there were guards in front of those particular doors and she said, "because the rooms are filled to the ceiling with money!"

She admitted to me that they had given it all up just so they could move to Saudi Arabia to live here in the compound and work for Aramco.  I couldn't believe they had given all that up, but Erin was so passionate about her decision I didn't say a word.

Working for this company, especially in this dream, is a blessed and elaborate opportunity.  Everyone around the world wants to live and work where we do - a reason why Erin and her family gave everything up to come here.  It is like an exclusive club that only the the most elite of the species are privileged to be members of. 

After the tour of the mansion, we were back on camp hanging out in the locker rooms at the gym.  Each bathroom stall in the locker room was a room of it's own, with couches, showers, bathtubs, flowers, lotions, and chocolate scented soaps... not that this was needed.  If you lived here, your poop smelled like roses or, vanilla in my case. 

The ONLY rule on camp - a rule that, if broken, would mean the immediate firing of your husband and expulsion of your family from the camp - was to NEVER gun the drains in the bathroom.

Gunning the drains - the act of putting your hands together in the gun formation and pointing it at the drains in the bathroom while making peeyoo peeyoo peeyoo (shooting) sounds.

Erin and I? We were rebels. We loved daring each other to do things.  We were the only ones in the locker room. So I, unfortunately and to our future dismay, dared her to gun the drains.  Erin, never one to turn down a dare or a challenge, immediately put her hands together in the shape of a gun.

"Peeyoo! Peeyoo! Peeyoo-peeyoo!"
"Peeyoo! Peeyoo! Peeyoo-peeyoo!"
"This is so thrilling!" she yelled.

But then... her cell phone rang.

She answered it. Then dropped it.

It was her husband.  He had just been fired from his job.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!" She screamed. 
"Why?!! Why Edith? Why did you dare me to gun the drains??"

"I'm so sorry Erin! I am SOOO sorry!" I said.

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!! Ahh haa haaa haaaaaaaaaa" as she dropped to her knees in despair and agony.
.
.
.
.
.
Then I woke up.

A Nice Cold Glass of Money.

I have been sleeping really deeply the past week or so. So, at times, when being woken up by one of my girls, I am not as coherent has I have been in the past. It has been a strange week.

Last night Madeline sat up and began screaming for me. I jumped out of bed, tripped over the strategically placed pile of laundry on the floor, bashed my thigh into the foot of our bed and went stumbling down the hallway to her room. Then I sat on her bed, gave her a hug and said,

"I'm here sweetie, are you okay? Do you want some MONEY?"

A tactic that may work in the future when she is older and I am really tired, but not right now.

What I meant to say was water... do you want some WATER. It was one of those out of body experiences because in my mind I was saying water. She looked at me like I was insane. I then handed her some water.

Blow Kiss My Butt.

Madeline and I have been blowing kisses at each other from afar for a couple of years now. The procedure for her and I is as follows: She kisses her hand, blows it towards me, I catch it, and smack it onto my cheek. Then I kiss my hand, blow it toward her, etc. etc. Sometimes we even do ten of them at the same time really, really fast. It's pretty cool and one of our little things.

Today I blew her a kiss. She caught it, smacked her own bottom, and then said, "You just kissed my butt mom! Hahahaha!"