Yesterday I put Madeline down in her crib for a nap. It's our usual routine. She fusses a little and then a few minutes later it gets quiet. Then I check on her about 10 minutes later and she's usually asleep. But this time, when I checked on her, she was standing up holding onto the side of the crib. She was hitting the top of the rail with her little hands, making a slapping noise, and talking to herself. She had a proud look on her face. A look of accomplishment. So when I helped her lay back down, she was pretty P. O'ed. This was the first time she has successfully done that. So I had to get Paul to put the crib on it's lowest setting.

She is all over the place! It's nuts!

I didn't have the camera right there, unfortunately, but here's a cute one...

The Little Things

My maw recently gave me a pepper grinder. It has a thin clear lid that goes over the top that you can grind pepper into if you want a controlled amount of pepper to come out. Or you can just be footloose and fancy free and grind all over your food without the lid on.

I have had such a good time using this pepper grinder. I love it. And the fresh peppa? Perfect.

This is a picture of pepper corns, not rat poop.

These Keds Were Made For Walkin', And that's Just What They'll Do...

Since Madeline is wanting to walk all the time, and since our tile is so hard and a little uneven, I thought it was time to get her some good walking shoes. So I splurged, $10 at Walmart, and got her some velcro keds. They're easy to put on (yay for me!) and they protect her little (almost) size three feet. They're pretty stylin' to - if I do say so myself.

A Fun Way To Get Spiffy

Mads really loves these Gerber teething biscuits. But usually after she's done, she is a terrible mess. And that stuff dries like hard glue. A fun way to clean the baby up... just pour a bit of water on the high chair tray and let the baby at it!

A Couple Things That Make Me Happy

Madeline. She reminds me that no matter what, we have to keep trying. When we fall, we need to give ourselves a round of applause for trying, and then wipe of the dust and get back up again.

She also dances...

My husband. We've been married for over seven years now and I am still madly in love with him. I get that spark when he touches me and I can't wait to see him when he gets home every day.

He's smart, funny, a great Dad, and he takes care of us.

Other things...
My mom. She always knows what to say. Always. Not just some of the time. And her hugs are like a recharge. She is wise beyond her years. She has many gifts and talents that help a lot of people. I'm proud to be her daughter.

My Family - every single one of them. They're all unique and special in their own way and I miss them all so much.

My Friends - The true ones are always there for you. And I have a lot of good friends who are there for me.

Just one more of Mads. This is her watching herself on video. She is pretty fun to watch so I can totally understand her excitement.

Every Moment Matters

Last night I heard from one of my best friend's husbands, that she was in the ICU after complications from preeclampsia that caused her to have a bleed in her brain. This morning she passed away.

Stacey is a beautiful person and spirit and I will miss her terribly in this life. I mourn for her family. Her kind, loving husband, Mitch, and their four beautiful children, Kayley, Emma, Bridger, and Greyson. I'm having a hard time finding words to express how I am feeling so I just want to post some wise and comforting words from my mom.

It is hard and painful to lose someone you love. The solution is don't lose them. Know where they are and send them peace, joy and love. You are connected to the Universal Energy Source (God) and Stacey is connected to the Universal Energy Source. Therefore you are still connected to Stacey. If anything she is closer to you now that she was before. This is a concept that I have felt and believe in since my Mother died in November.

We all wanted to come to Earth and have a physical body. We have known each other from the beginning of time. I believe some of us agreed to stick together in family units, if for no other reason than to offer each other the challenges we needed to grow and pass our tests.

Each one of us has the gift of free agency and the things that happen to us are the result of our choices. We are each responsible for our own reality. No one else has the power to make you say, do or feel anything if you don't want to. Sometimes that is a hard concept to accept but it is true.

I know that the sparkling, glowing spirit that is you, me or Stacey will never die. Our Spirit is eternal and powerful. We are children of our Heavenly Father. You are what you come from therefore we are divine and a piece of God. As I see it, Stacey can accomplish more and benefit her children more by doing what she has chosen to do. You could say Stacey has a heavenly perspective on her family now. Stacey's family was blessed to know her even if it was just for a short time. We know that the children being born at this time are the strongest, most valiant and intelligent spirits. They were saved for the latter days for that reason. There is no question that they are capable of over coming their obstacles and challenges. They are God's most elite.

One of the most interesting concepts that I have come to understand is that when we (the Earth bound) cry and feel like our hearts are breaking at the death of a loved one we are, in fact, crying for our own loss. Instead of understanding what has happened and where they have gone we are seeing it as a huge, emptiness in our own lives. Crossing over is a developmental step. It falls in the same category as being born, cutting teeth and eventually growing into an adult. It's just a step in our eternal progression.

Know that you are a child of God...Know where you've been...Know where you are....Know where you're going... I love you totally..... Momma

How can one help marveling at the voyage we are making on this planet? One has to lift one's self up and use one's imagination to see that it is a voyage, and that our course lies through the star-paved abysses of infinite space. Few of us ever see it or realize it in all its awful grandeur. But sometimes, as we look up at the night sky, we are surprised out of our habitual stolidity and blindness; the mind opens for a moment, and we see the Infinite face to face; the veil is withdrawn, and the rays from myriads of orbs penetrate to the soul.
— John Burroughs

Madeline's Monthly Message: Month 10

Dear Madeline, Baby, you made it to the double digits! Woo Hoo!! You are now a 10-month-old. Life with a 9-month-old has been an adventure to say the very least. In the past month you have grown physically and mentally in such a rapid way I feel like Captain Jean Luke Picard in warp speed. Only what I'd like to do, as Captain, is tell Jordy Laforge and Commander Data to please take a little longer fixing the hyperdrive next time it breaks.

You also have this perfect little personality with your own ideas, your own likes, and your very loud and obvious dislikes.

I think your schedule changes every month now. You were taking a nap every day at 11:30 am and then again later around 3:00 pm, but now to go to bed later and sleep in a little bit so your nap is later. This means lunch is later, so you aren't always hungry when your Dad and I eat dinner, which is okay. I have to admit, I love nap time. I love the fact that you are so extremely tired yet you don't want to stop playing so you fight it. I set you in your crib each day around the same time, and you cry and look at me like I am the most thoughtless person in existence, and then like 2 minutes later you roll over and are out for at least an hour. I am so entertained by this.

You crawl. I mean REALLY crawl now. No two scoot and then plop on the bum, you go long distances and you can get at whatever you want to get at now. You also love to walk, with assistance - but not for long I bet (the assistance part). In fact, all you really ever want to do is walk. You love it.

Your Dada (and anyone else you can get to do it) takes you walking all the time... all over the house, all over the airport, all over your grandma's house... he has some pretty bad back pain because of it and no matter how many times I tell him it's okay to sit down or do something else with you, he keeps on walking. I think he feels like he is obligated to do it. He's a really good Dad.

You can also pull yourself up on anything. I find you standing in some strange places all of the sudden and wonder how in the world you got that way. You are a speed demon in that walker of yours and poor kitty is learning that she can no longer wait to move like she used to be able to.

The other day I left you in your room in your super playard XT and Kitty decided to jump in with you to sit and just be. All the sudden I hear this big boom and kitty comes running out of the room. I freaked, went running into your room and you were sitting there in the crawl position with this big grin on your face, all la-dee-da like, and kitty was limping toward me... past me.... and ploppled onto the tile. I think you got her. I checked her out and she was fine, but MAN I think she learned a lesson.

I made a mistake and let you walk in your walker on the tile with no shoes on. The tile is a little uneven in some places... I've tripped many times, I don't know what I was thinking. I suddenly noticed a few streaks of blood all over the tile... it was like horror film - maybe not that bad, but that's how I felt. When I realized it was your little big toe and that it had been skinned on the top a little bit, I wanted to hurl myself against the wall for being such an idiot. First aid on the little big toe was rough... you do NOT like to be restrained in any way so it was hard. Your dad had to hold you down while I cleaned it and held pressure to stop the bleeding and then apply baby neosporin and a bandaid.

Pain. There is pain all over the place. You, kitty, Daddy, me - just cause I am a klutz and can't seem to avoid running into things - Lots of bruises and bumps from learning to move. I try so hard to prevent these things from happening but it seems like no matter what I do it STILL happens. I hate it!!

You clap your hands now a lot. It's the cutest thing ever. Everything about you is cute. And it's not just me who thinks so. Everyone thinks it. Me, your Dad, your Grandma's, your cousins, Aunts, Uncles, friends, even strangers. You also wave your hands in the air like a rapper who "puts his hands in the air, and waves 'em like he just don't care". You do it when I play rap or hip hop on the radio. We listen to the radio sometimes in the morning when we are eating breakfast.

I try to keep you entertained and busy. Sometimes, when all hope is lost for you to sit quietly for a minute, we pop in your favorite movie - Elmo's sing-a-long songs Top Ten Countdown. You are mezmerized by this movie. You love the songs they sing and the puppet Sesame Street characters, and it buys us a minute or two to accomplish something. It's not like I let you watch TV all day. That's like the only show you watch.

Yesterday me and Brooke's momma thought it would be fun if you and Brooke tried out fingerpainting. I laid out a sheet on the carpet in your room and an old surgical gown I had upstairs (they're waterproof and sometimes if things are opened but not used we can take them home and use them because they would have just been thrown away anyway - they're good for painting) and then I filled a couple bowls with water and we laid out some fingerpainting paper. You and Brooke were dressed in painting attire - you just a diaper, Brooke and old onsie - and you went at it. You both had absolutely NO interest in painting. You wanted to splash in the water, dump it out, crinkle and eat the paper... it was a disaster really and probably only lasted about 5 minutes before you were in the tub and we were cleaning up. Maybe we'll try that again when you are a little bit older.

You are eating well. You finally like chicken, sometimes. You get a lovely array of fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, cheerioes, oatmeal, rice, bread... you love to feed yourself finger foods. You still have no interest in using utensils or dishes. They usually end up on the floor. You still nurse. You've stopped biting me -Yay for the nips!

Speaking of biting, you have TWO new teeth. They appeared to be pressing on the gums for a couple weeks and then on July 1st, 2009 we woke up to two HUGE teeth in the center of your top gums. They are SO unbelievably adorable I can hardly see straight. What makes them even more adorable, if it were even possible, is this cheezy grin you do. It is the cutest most... wait... I can't breathe, you are just too cute Madeline. You grind your teeth sometimes though, which is something we are trying to get over. I know they're new and different and exciting. I can only imagine what you must be thinking when you feel your bottom tooth clicking against your top teeth, "What in the world is that? It makes such a fun noise grind grind grind".

You like to share your food with me sometimes. I think you like the fact that sometimes we are eating the same food now. Unfortunately, I caved a couple times this month and gave you... JUNK food. You had two fries, part of a cookie, a tiny bite of icecream... the cookie was not anyone's fault. Your Dad was holding you while he was eating a cookie your Aunt Kristine made, and your little hand grabbed that cookie and shoved it in your mouth so fast... we were all really surprised and had to laugh. When you see something you want there is nothing that can get in your way, nothing I tell you!

If it were even possible, your relationship with your Dad has grown even more powerful. You LOVE him so much. When your Dada get's home from work, when you hear the beep of the door as he enters and I say, "Oh! Who is that? Is it Dada? Dada's home Madeline, Dada's home!!!", your entire little body stiffens. You frantically flap and wave ONLY your hands up and down and all around and you get this look on your face... your eyes get huge, you smile, you squeak, you look like your little tiny body cannot contain the immense excitement within and you are about to begin convulsing and then may explode if your Dad doesn't pick you up immediately.

This past week, June 29th - July 6th, you and me and your dad flew to Utah, where I grew up, to spend some time with my side of the family for the Fourth of July holiday.

They haven't seen you since you were 2 months old and you and me flew home for my Grandma Vivi's funeral, so they were in for a real treat. We had so much fun seeing everyone. You had a bit of stranger anxiety and it hurt me a little to see that you didn't know the people I have known and loved my whole life. I want you to know and love my family... especially my mother. She is such an amazing angel of a woman with so much knowledge and love to share. I know that when you are older you will understand and know her as best you can, but it reminded me of the one reason being so far from home ISN'T the best thing. I hope and pray and beg you don't move away from me when you are older. I know that's too much to ask, and that you will live your life and go where your path takes you... but a momma can hope.

It was a great trip. You had a great time with all your cousins. You were very busy every day. You got a ton of attention and loved every minute of it. Travelling has it's ups and downs and we had our ups and downs... you were teething, airports suck, your schedule was WAY off, your diet was WAY off, the stupid airport security lady took your Cetaphil lotion because it, being 4 ounces, exceeded the 3.4 ounces limit on liquid items... but you were surrounded by people who wanted to hold you and kiss you and hug you and make you laugh and smile constantly, you got to see fireworks and taste barebeque chicken, stay up late, and play, play, play with new toys and cousins and walk, walk, walk. I think you had fun.

It was on the first flight toward Utah that we discovered something new that makes you laugh. You were being fussy on the plane and your dad coughed. You laughed. So, he coughed again. You laughed again... this amazingly cute chortle. He did a fake sneeze, a fake cough... for the last 20 minutes of the flight you laughed your heart out as your dad fake coughed and sneezed. People from all over the plane were turning and leaning toward us and laughing and smiling along with you... I couldn't stop laughing myself, it was hilarious!! You can fake cough too! So now, if you are sad, we fake cough. It always cheers you up. And if Dada or Momma cough or sneeze for real? That's pretty funny too.

You still love to be read to. Your favorites books are "A Fly Went By" By Mike McClintock (a Dr. Suess), "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish", "Love You Forever", and this nursery rhyme book we got you a while ago. Me and your Dad could probably quote those first two books word for word. In fact, there are times we do quote them. I could say something like, "Babe, will you get me a dish out of the cupboard?" And your Dad would come back with something like, "If you wish to wish a wish, then make a wish on my ish wish dish."

You are such a happy baby Madeline. Your main goal each day is to be happy. Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired, cuddle, play, walk, talk... these things make you happy. You have made our lives so much happier.

In two months you will be one. In two months, I, Edith Ann, will have a one-year-old. It has gone by so fast. You are growing up so fast. Please know, I will try my best to make sure that as you grow, you are as happy as possible. I want you to look back on your childhood with memories of nothing but real, joyful, genuine times with your family and friends that you will always cherrish. You deserve that. Every child deserves that, but especially you.

Love,
Momma

Whoa. Private and A New URL.

I have my reasons. If you are reading this, thanks for sticking with us. I love that you have an interest in our lives. It means a lot.

Tasks, Tasks, Tasks

There are several posts coming! Paul and Madeline and me just got back from our week long vacation home to Utah - thank you everyone who made our trip great, we miss and love you! There was a lot of preparation for it before the week so I haven't posted for a while! We got home pretty late last night after a VERY LOOOOOOOONG day of travelling - that is a blog in and of itself. There is much to do to get back into the regular swing of things.

Task one: Give baby bath
Task two: unpack
Task three: replenish refridgerator and cupboards with food - we are empty.
Task four: GRRR go to work and resume task completion on Wednesday.
Task five: do some blogs so people know what's going on!

Do You Remember The Music In The Movie Jaws?

Here's Madeline and her "MAD" crawling skills. She's all over the place now. The tile is a little hard on her knees so I usually put a breast pads in some of my long socks on her legs when she wants to crawl on the tile (Except in this video, which is why she tries to move using her feet) and it works pretty good.

Oh and just so you know, we're also going to move the shredder and plug all the plugs with those plastic thingy's - So don't worry, in case you were worrying. Anyway, isn't she a great crawler?! I know Kitty is excited about it.

Why Have Long Hair?

I've always had a similar hair-do most of my life. There have been times when I needed a new look and cut it short or dyed it a strange color. I think at one time in my life my hair was auburn. At another time I tried to make it strawberry blonde but it turned a silver-ish purple color instead. I had it bleached blonde once but when I went swimming it turned it green. And then there was that one time I died it dark brown, HATED IT, and then tried to bleach it back to a dirty blonde all by myself and my hair turned bleach blonde close to my scalp and a neon orange at the ends. THAT was scary day. I had to color it again and then grow that baby out and cut it off to get my nice hair back... I recommend NOT doing that unless you think it's attractive to look like you have hay growing out of your head.

SO the long hair has always been something that has worked for me. With short hair I look a little silly - due to my tiny head and my disproportionally sized chubby body.

With long hair, you can...

1. Wear curlers and fluff it so you have big hair and it takes a bit of the noticeableness off of your chub.
2. Do the "Long Hair Toss" in slow motion and feel beautiful - try this sometime when you are feeling blue, it does wonders to your ego.
3. You can curl it, straighten it, make waves in it, layer it, braid it, pony tail it, put it up in the clip, etc.
4. Most guys like long hair so you get noticed more - not that that is important.
5. If it's really long and you lose your top at a water park you can pull the "Darryl Hannah Mermaid" look.
6. But I think the main reason I want long hair is so someday I can do this...
   

...talk about getting noticed at a party.

Nevermind, It's Alive!

Excuse my previous post. I guess I jumped the gun a little.

So, we decided that right now isn't the best time to get another car. It will cost us less to pay the ridiculous charge to get BERTHA (Big Evil Ridiculous Totally Horrible Automobile) fixed than to invest in a new car right now and it will get me transportation to work sooner than later. I really really really want a newer, nicer car but sometimes what we want is not what is best at the moment. Grrr.

An attempt to be positive:
At least we HAVE a car. At least we have money to pay to get it fixed and a place to live and food to eat. Compared to most people in the world we are millionaires. I need to be thankful for my life and for all I have because we really are blessed.

Someday my prince (car) will come.

R.I.P. You Piece Of Crap.

In 2001 (I think, maybe 2000), I walked onto a Saturn car lot with my mother, and I purchased a 1997 used Saturn. It was the first time I had ever bought a car so I was excited about it. My lack of knowledge and anticipation to FINALLY have my own car were SEVERE handicaps because, without thinking about it or looking anywhere else or talking to Paul about it, I bought the first car I test drove. I was a car salesman's dream. I even bought this (new to me) used car for a ridiculous price - a price I could have purchased a new car for - with no argument, no attempt to dicker down to a reasonable price. I bought their story that the woman who owned it before was a frail school teacher who never went anywhere and just traded it in for something a bit newer - They ACTUALLY said that to me. hahahahahaha!!!

I think it was 30 days later, right after the tiny warranty they give you when you purchase the car was expired, it broke down and the dealership wanted me to pay them $800 to replace the alternator and battery. Apparently, they were dead. I hadn't purchased a new warranty, so nothing was covered.

I cried.

Isn't that was girls do? I sobbed actually, and in public, right there at the dealership because I did not have $800. In fact, I was in debt - with credit cards - and was living paycheck to paycheck at the time. It was my fault really - for being so naive and stupid. The sobbing got the price cut down to $400 and I was able to put it - where else? - on my credit card.

I think it was a couple months later some kids playing with a basketball threw it out into the road while I was driving by and shattered my windshield. I stopped, very angry, to talk to them and ask them to pay for it, and they ran. I even followed them to their apartment and told them what happened, and they said they'd pay for it. I never heard from them again.

There was a stretch of time when I actually didn't have any issues with the car. I got my oil changed regularly, things were going pretty well.

In 2002, Paul and I got married and we drove the car to Tennessee on our wedding night. It drove just fine. Here and there we had issues. Sometimes ridiculous and big, sometimes small. We paid for them. But all in all it was a pretty good car, until the last year or so.

Problems every other month. Most of them Paul could fix. He actually learned quite a bit about my car.

Have you ever seen that commercial for car insurance where the car shakes really loud and ferociously and then falls apart while the man is sitting in it??? It's an older commercial. The car in that commercial is the exact model as my car. That commercial was NOT an exaggeration in the least.

For months now, my car has been leaking all kinds of fluid. Paul has been able to fix most of them problems, but a few days ago, transmission fluid began leaking out all over the garage floor. Paul replaced the plug, but the next morning it was STILL leaking pretty bad. So we took it in to a garage to have it looked at, and apparently there is a large crack in the pan or container that holds the transmission fluid. They want to charge us $1500.00 to replace that container. $1500. FIF-TEEN-HUNDRED-DOLLARS. ONE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. That's a lot of money.

So we're probably going to say goodbye to the Saturn. The lining to the ceiling inside is falling down. She rattles like a Moroccan band, it takes 30 minutes for the A/C to get cool but hey, we've had good times. We've also had extremely irritating, horribly, bad times... She lasted longer than I thought she would though, so there's a positive note. I've had her 8-9 years. She's over 12 years old - that's like 88 in car years isn't it?


So, now it is on to something better. Something with good mileage, air conditioning, room for babies, and is reasonably priced. Let the search begin.

Messy Maddy

I've come to accept that mealtime is a messy time nowadays. Especially if I am going to give Madeline the chance to learn how to feed herself. It's been an adjustment for me and Paul both. How can I, or ANYONE for that matter, not have fun with it when these faces come along with the gooey highchair and splattered walls?

Happy Father's Day Babe!

How much do you love your Daddy Madeline?

Whoa. That's a lot. I agree.

Dear Paul, You are SOOOOO good at being a Dad.
We love you SUPER Duper humongous tremendously!

Thank you for being our man. We wouldn't have it any other way.